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Scary Jokes

Have a giggle at these spine-tinglingly scary jokes! Aa-WoOoOoOoOo!

Can you handle these horrifying halloween jokes? Or what about these vampire jokes? Or witch jokes?

Or any of THESE jokes?

Take a look…if you dare!

Did you hear my rubbish mummy joke?

It Sphinx!

What do you get if you cross a sea monster with a duck?

Large yellow inflatable duck in front of a full moon

A quacken!

What’s the worst kind of Halloween decoration?

A Trumpkin!

How do the fastest witches in the world get around?

On vroomsticks!

Why don’t they play music in a skeleton church?

Because there are no organs!

How do ghosts like their eggs?


What monster fits on the end of your finger?

A bogeyman!

What’s big, furry and has eight wheels?

A monster on roller skates!

Did you hear about the giant monster who ate too many houses?

He was homesick!

What’s the problem with twin witches?

You never know which witch is which!

What did the skeleton say to the waiter?

Can I have an orange juice and a mop, please!

How can you tell that vampires love baseball?

They turn into bats every night!

What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A laughing chicken and dog

A plumpkin!

How do you make a skeleton laugh?

Tickle her funny bone!

What is a vampire’s favourite fruit?


What’s do you call a cross between the Abominable Snowman and pasta?


What kind of music are balloons scared of?

Pop music!

Are there any Halloween monsters who are good at maths?

Dracula and maths equipment

Nope, unless you Count Dracula!

I went to a Halloween party dressed as deodorant…

But everyone kept asking me if I was sure!

I went to a Halloween party dressed as a shark….

The novelty is wearing a little fin!