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Shoe Jokes

These jokes are a shoe-in for funniest ever!

Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  July 9th 2021

These funny jokes are shoe-er to make you laugh! 

If you thought these were groan-worthy, have a look at our dad jokes! And if you want some more active lols, we've got sports jokes too! Or how about some knock knock jokes for more laughs?

And we've got loads more laughs on our jokes page, check them out!

I’d love to go to Holland one day...

A pair of Dutch wooden clogs, a laughing chicken and a pigeon

...Wooden shoe?

What kind of shoes do aeroplanes wear?

High heels!

How do you make trainers out of trees?

A laughing slice of pizza and a grinning brown shoe

Wooden shoe like to know!

What kind of shoes do mice wear?

A cry laughing pineapple and and a laughing banana


What did the clown say to his apprentice?

You've got some big shoes to fill!

What kind of jokes do shoelaces tell?

Knot knot jokes!

What do you call a French man in sandals?

Philippe Philoppe!

Why don't you ever see a grizzly in socks and shoes?

Because they have bear feet!

Which animal wears shoes to bed?

A horse!

What kind of shoes does Captain Hook hate?


What sort of shoes do artists wear?


Why shouldn't you buy Velcro shoes?

They're a rip off!

How do shoes talk?

They converse!

What do you call two banana peels?

A shoe with a smile on its face in front of a theatrical red curtain

A pair of slippers!

What kind of shoes do geese wear?

Black shoes on a pavement

Duck Martens!

What sort of shoes does bread wear?

A grinning pink trainer and a smiling black shoe


What sort of sandals do frogs wear?

A grinning pink trainer

Open toad!

What sort of shoes do spies wear?


Why is it bad to work in a shoe reclying centre?

It's sole destroying!

What did the hat say to the shoe?

I'll go on ahead, you go on afoot!

What does a trainer say when it sneezes?

A shoe!

How do you know if a flamingo has borrowed your shoes?

Cry laughing slice of pizza

Only one is missing!

What shoes do pizzas wear?


How did Robin Hood tie his shoe-laces?

With a long bow!

What did the shoe say to the other shoe?

You’re bootiful, fancy going for a walk?!

Why do shoes always come in pairs?

Funny jokes

They're sole-mates!