66 Snake Jokes Which Are Hilariousssssss!
Wrap yourself around these ssserioussssly funny snake jokes. They're fangtastic!
Wrap yourself around these hissterically funny snake jokes for a fangtastic, multiple-rib-tickling time.
And when you've adder-enough (groan) try some very dry humour with our desert jokes then (if you still want to laugh like a hyena/cuckoburra/rabid otter) give our animal jokes a visit!
Which snake is capable of doing sums in the dark?
A night adder!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/calculator-1.jpg?w=1024)
In which river will you find the most number of snakes?
Hiss-issippi!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/legacy/53039_snake-4.jpg?w=1024)
What’s a snake’s favourite vegetable?
Coily-flower!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/Cauliflower.jpeg?w=1024)
Which shoes does a snake like to wear the most?
Snakers! Hang on... what?
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/legacy/88808_trainers.jpg?w=1024)
What would you call a cross between a pig and a snake?
A boar constrictor!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/06/pig.jpeg?w=1024)
What does a snake like to eat for breakfast?
Hiss pancakes!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/tall3-pancakes.jpg?w=1024)
Why was the snake running after the mouse?
Because it adder stuff!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/mouse.jpg?w=1024)
What would you call a snake who has a great personality?
A snake charmer!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/generic-plaid.jpeg?w=1024)
How did the snake manage to run away from school?
By scaling the walls!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/07/sonoran-coral-snake.jpg?w=1024)
What kind of coffee do snakes drink?
Hiss-presso!
![A snake with a cup of coffee](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/09/snake-coffee.jpg?w=1024)
Which is a snake's favourite sport?
Boa-ling!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/legacy/81755_bowling-shoes.jpg?w=1024)
Why did the snake go to school?
To be a hiss-tory teacher!
![Kingsnake](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/09/kingsnake.jpg?w=1024)
Why did the snake clean its kettle?
It needed de-sssscaling!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/legacy/41987_kettle.jpg?w=800)
How did the snake propose to his girlfriend?
With a diamondback ring!
![An engagement ring](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/engagement-ring.jpg?w=1024)
Why did Woody have to wear sneakers?
There was a snake in his boot!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/laughing-cowboy.jpg?w=1024)
Doctor: “Can you describe the snake that bit you?”
Patient: “Yes. It looked like an angry rope!”
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/good-doctor.jpg?w=1024)
What’s a snake’s favourite dance?
The mamba!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/legacy/41806_snake.jpg?w=1024)
What do you get if you cross a newborn snake with a basketball?
A bouncing baby boa!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/11/4-basketball.jpg?w=1024)
Who is a snake’s favourite author?
William Snakespeare!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/shakespeare.jpg?w=1024)
Why did the snake cross the road?
To get to the other ssssssssside!
![Snake Joke](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/legacy/74769_snake10.jpg?w=800)
How does a snake practice archery?
With a boa and arrow!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/generic-funny-2.jpeg?w=1024)
What do married snakes have on their bath towels?
'Hiss' and 'Hersss'!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/python.jpg?w=1024)
What did the mother snake give her baby?
A goodnight hiss!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/07/generic-laugh-2.jpeg?w=1024)
What did the snake say to the loud children at the campsite?
“Ssssss!”
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/rubber-snake.jpg?w=1024)
What do you call a snake that’s 3.14 meters long?
A pi-thon!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/09/maths-fractions-6.jpeg?w=1024)
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a snake?
A jump rope!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/10-snake-1.jpg?w=1024)
Why should you never weigh a snake?
They have their own scales!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/legacy/59753_snake-scales.jpg?w=1024)
What kind of letters did the snake get from his admirers?
Fang letters!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/legacy/82113_snake.png?w=1024)
What do you call an important English snake?
Sir Pent!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/legacy/53036_snake-1.jpg?w=1024)
Why do snakes always measure in inches?
Because they don’t have feet!
![A reticulated python being measured with a tape measure](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/09/reticulated-python.jpg?w=1024)
What did the mother snake say to the baby snake when it had a cold?
“Please viper your nose!”
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/9-snake-scale.jpg?w=1024)
What do you give a sick snake?
Asp-rin!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/doctor-nurse-5.jpg?w=1024)
Why was the snake mad at the jewel thief?
Because he wanted his diamondback!
![A burglar giving the thumbs down](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/burglar.png?w=1024)
Why are snakes so hard to fool?
They have no legs to pull!
![A snake hiding in the sand](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/snake-sand.jpg?w=1024)
What do you call a funny snake?
Hissssssterical!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/2-snake-skin.jpg?w=1024)
What do you call a snake that bakes?
A pie-thon!
![A pumpkin pie](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/pumpkin-pie.jpg?w=1024)
What do you get if you cross a bag of snakes and a cupboard of food?
Snakes and Larders!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/07/generic-laugh-3.jpeg?w=1024)
What do you get if you cross two snakes with a magic spell?
Addercadabra and abradacobra!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/1-snake-venom.jpg?w=1024)
What do you call a snake that builds things?
A boa constructor!
![A hammer and nails](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/hammer-nails.jpg?w=1024)
Why can you always trust snakes?
They’re ‘armless!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/02/12_5c54e6.png?w=1024)
What do you get if you cross Enhypen, candy, and a snake?
Sweet Venom!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/02/15.png?w=1024)
“It’s a long tale…” said the snake…
“I’m all ears!” said the elephant!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/16-5.png?w=1024)
Why did St Patrick drive the snakes out of Ireland?
It was too far to walk!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/7-27.png?w=1024)
What did St Patrick say as he was driving the snakes out of Ireland?
'Yous alright in the back there lads?'
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/8-27.png?w=1024)
What do you call a snake on a rollerskate?
An aspiring lizard!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/17-2.png?w=1024)
Why are snakes so good at playing cards?
Because they can never lose a hand!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/Generic.png?w=1024)
How do you do a deal in the jungle?
You snake on it!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/19-7.png?quality=76&strip=all&w=1024)
What kind of snake is good at maths?
An adder!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/13-8.png?quality=76&strip=all&w=1024)
What do you get if you cross a snake and a plane?
A Boeing Constrictor!
![A grinning cow and a blue snake wrapped around a tree branch](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/74759_snake8.jpg)
What do you call a French pineapple snake?
Ananas-conda!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/snake.jpg?quality=76&strip=all&w=1024)
Why should you never weigh a snake?
Because they have their own scales!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/legacy/74764_snake6.jpg)
What do you call a snake that's just shed it's own skin?
Snaked!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/legacy/74763_snake4.jpg)
What's a snake's favourite dance?
The Mamba!
![A snake and a sheep laughing](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/legacy/74762_snake7.jpg)
What do you call a snake who works for the government?
A Civil Serpent
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/legacy/74761_snake2.jpg)
A goat, a drum, and a snake fell off a cliff...
Baa-dum-sss!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/legacy/70136_drum.jpg)
What's multicoloured and very pretty but also capable of crushing you in its death grip?
A rainbowa constrictor!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/legacy/69131_rainbow_llama.jpg)
My pet snake is exactly 3.14m long...
Its a π-thon!
![number jokes](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/legacy/62641_gen39.jpg)
Why did the baby snake ask its Mum if they were venomous?
It just bit its tongue!
![mother's day](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/legacy/61241_gen49.jpg)
What do you get when you cross a snake and a frog?
A jump rope!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/legacy/56215_gen44.jpg)
What car does a snake drive?
An ana-Honda!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/legacy/48407_ana-honda.png)
Why does Woody always have to wear his trainers?
Because there's a snake in his boot!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/legacy/43767_gen25.jpg)
What would you get if you crossed pasta with a snake?
Spaghetti that wraps itself around a fork!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/legacy/43701_Pasta8.png)
What is a snake’s favourite subject?
Hisstory!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/legacy/74760_snake3.jpg)
What goes ‘hith, hith’?
A snake that's bitten its tongue!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/legacy/74757_snake5.jpg)
What snakes do you find on cars?
Windscreen vipers!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/legacy/74758_snake1.jpg)
How do you make a baby snake cry?
Take away its rattle!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/legacy/74759_snake8.jpg)
![Animal Jokes](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/legacy/74765_nextup.jpg)
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/legacy/74766_jokegenerator.jpg)