Snake Jokes

Wrap yourself around these ssserioussssly funny snake jokes. They're fangtastic!

Wrap yourself around these hissterically funny snake jokes for a fangtastic, multiple-rib-tickling time.

And when you've adder-enough (groan) try some very dry humour with our desert jokes then (if you still want to laugh like a hyena/cuckoburra/rabid otter) give our animal jokes a visit!

Why should you never weigh a snake?

Because they have their own scales!

What do you call a snake that's just shed it's own skin?

Snaked!

What's a snake's favourite dance?

The Mamba!

What do you call a snake who works for the government?

A Civil Serpent

A goat, a drum, and a snake fell off a cliff...

Baa-dum-sss!

What's multicoloured and very pretty but also capable of crushing you in its death grip?

A rainbowa constrictor!

My pet snake is exactly 3.14m long...

Its a π-thon!

Why did the baby snake ask its Mum if they were venomous?

It just bit its tongue!

What do you get when you cross a snake and a frog?

A jump rope!

A sheep, a drum and a snake fall down a hill. What sound do they make?

Baaa-Dum-Tssss!

What car does a snake drive?

An ana-Honda!

Why does Woody always have to wear his trainers?

Because there's a snake in his boot!

What would you get if you crossed pasta with a snake?

Spaghetti that wraps itself around a fork!

What goes ‘hith, hith’?

A snake that's bitten its tongue!

What snakes do you find on cars?

Windscreen vipers!

How do you make a baby snake cry?

Take away its rattle!

What is a snake’s favourite subject?

Hisstory!

What do you get if you cross a snake with a builder?

A boa constructor!

Animal Jokes

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