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Funny Spider Jokes

These funny spider jokes are the best on the web!

If you like these spider funnies, why not bug everyone with these great insect jokes? Plus, you won’t bee-lieve how funny our bee jokes are!

Of course, there are loads more jokes on our jokes page too!

Why did the spider only put one leg out of her bed?

An open mouthed purple spider

She wanted to start the day off on the right foot!

What’s the difference between a computer programmer and a spider?

Spiders like bugs on the web!

What do you call a spider who can steal your data?

A web hacker!

Did you hear about the spider who ate the fly?

He was a real buzz kill!

The spider couple were so in love…

They went around arm in arm in arm in arm in arm!

Why do spiders spin webs?

Because they can’t knit!

Did you hear about the spiders who got married?

It was a beautiful webbing

How tall are spiders?

Eight feet!

Did you hear about the spider who was always lying?

He loved spinning a yarn!

What’s a spider’s favourite hobby?

Fly fishing!

What’s black and red and sticky all over?

A spider in strawberry jam!

What do spiders eat in Paris?

French flies!

What do you call two spider who just got married?

Newlywebs!

What did the spider do when he got a new car?

Took it out for a spin!

What happened when the spider got mad?

He went up the wall!

Which spider is best at digging?

A spader!

Why are spiders so good at swimming?

Because they have webbed feet!

What did the spider say to the fly?

Buzz off!

Where do spiders hang out?

On the web!

What’s the best job for a spider?

A web designer!

What do you call an undercover spider?

A spy, duh!

What did the mummy spider say to baby spider?

mother's day

You spend too much time on the web!