Spooky Jokes

These spooktacular spooky jokes will scare you silly!

These funny spooky jokes will make you shudder...with laughter! 

If you liked these, why not check out more of our Halloween jokes, sink your teeth into these vampire jokes, or have a cackle at these witch jokes. And of course there are hundreds more great jokes on the jokes page!

What do ghosts wear if they can't see?

Spooktacles!

Where do ghouls send their post?

The Ghost Office!

Where do you bury a roast dinner?

In a gravy-yard!

How do skeletons tell their future?

They look at their HORRORscope!

What's a witch's favourite class?

Spelling!

Why was the pumpkin so happy?

It was having a GOURD time!

What's a pumpkin's favourite genre?

Pulp fiction!

Why was the skeleton so mean?

He was heartless!

Why is there always a fence around graveyards?

Everyone is DYING to get in!

What's a ghost's favourite game?

Hide and shriek!

How can you tell if a vampire has a cold?

He's always coffin!

What do you get if you cross a duck and a vampire?

Count Quackula!

What does a pumpkin call his family?

His pumpKIN!

When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a rat!

What's a mummy's favourite music?

Wrap!

What sort of make up do ghosts wear?

Mas-SCARE-a!

Where do ghosts go shopping?

At the ghost-ery shop!

What do you call a witch's garage?

A broom cupboard!

What's a vampire's favourite type of boat?

A blood vessel!

Why are skeletons so chill?

Nothing gets under their skin!

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