Skip to main content

Storm Jokes

You’ll laugh up a storm with these! Check out these funny storm jokes for some great weather laughs! Which ones do you find funniest?

You’ll laugh up a storm with these!

These storm jokes are a thundering good laugh! If you liked these, we’ve also got sea jokes, and for more weather lols, check out our weather jokes. And for some really colourful laughs, look at our rainbow jokes!

And as always, there’s loads more to lol at on our joke generator!

What’s the worst machine to use at the gym?

The vending machine!

Why are mathematicians so fit?

They’re always working out!

What’s a hairdressers favourite weight exercise?

Curls!

Why should you never bring a bear to the gym?

You’ll get shredded!

Why did the personal trainer split up with her partner?

It wasn’t working out!

Why did the devil open a gym?

He wanted to work out his demons!

Why did the pumpkin go to the gym?

It wanted to be a Jacked-O-Lantern!

What do chickens do at the gym?

Work on their pecks!

Why did the weightlifter go to therapy?

He wanted to get something off his chest!

I’m not strong enough to keep going to my gym…

So I’m handing in my too-weak notice

I’ve stopped going to the gym…

It’s a huge weight off my shoulders!

What do you call a guy who loves working out?

Jim!

I just created a fitness app for insects

It’s going pretty well, although I’m still working out the bugs!

What do you call Cardi B when she’s at the gym?

Cardi O!

What bell doesn’t make any noise at the gym?

A dumb-bell!

Why should you join a gym?

Either way, you’ll lose a lot of pounds!

Why shouldn’t you do stand-up in a gym?

It’s a very tough crowd!

The gym is out of protein powder!

No whey!

The new machine at the gym does EVERYTHING!

Crisps, chocolate, fizzy drinks…

My yoga instructor asked how flexible I am…

I said ‘Well, I can’t do Wednesdays’

What do you say when you find your scarecrow has been stolen?

That’s the last straw!

Why is it hard to hug a scarecrow?

Because you’re clutching at straws!

Why are the scarecrow’s jokes so bad?

They’re too corny!

Why don’t scarecrows go for dinner with farm animals?

It costs them an arm and a leg!

How do scarecrows drink?

With a straw!

Why didn’t the scarecrow eat much for dinner?

It was already stuffed!

What’s a scarecrow’s favourite fruit?

Strawberries!

‘Why are you so good at being a scarecrow?’

‘Hay, it’s in my jeans’

What moos and is made of hay?

A scarecow!

How do scarecrows say hello?

‘Hay!’

What do you call a volcano who watches TV all day?

A volcano erupting

Inactive!

What did the volcano say at dinner time?

I’d really lava pizza right now!

What do you call a volcano that never erupts?

A mountain!

How can you tell when a volcano is angry?

They blow their top!

When’s the best time to make a volcano joke?

Volcano jokes

When the dust settles!

What did the dinosaur say to the pig when they saw a volcano explode?

Isn’t it a lava-ly day?

Why should you never kick a volcano?

You might Krakatoa!

Why was the volcano bad-mannered?

Erupting volcano

They kept interrupting!

What do you say to a group of volcanoes messing around in class?

You’re erupt to no good!

What do you say to a volcano who’s being dramatic?

Stop overreacting!

What do you call a mountain with hiccups?

A volcano!

What do you get if you cross a volcano with a lightbulb?

A lava lamp!

What did the two volcanoes say about their baby?

“Aren’t they so lavable?”

What type of music does a volcano listen to?

Rock!

What is a volcano’s favourite game?

The floor is lava!

Where do volcanoes go when they need a wee?

The lava-tory!

What did the baby volcano call its mum?

Mag-ma!

What did one volcano say to the other volcano?

I lava you!

What happens if you drop a piece of volcanic rock on your foot?

Doctor Jokes
Doctor Jokes

You’ll Krakatoa!

What happens when you tell a joke to a volcano?

They erupt with laughter!

Why didn’t the scarecrow go to the disco?

It had no body to dance with!”

How do scarecrows vote?

They take a straw poll!

What do you call a scarecrow that’s not being used?

A sparecrow!

What’s a scarecrow’s favourite part of a roast dinner?

The stuffing!

Why didn’t the scarecrow like standing in the radish field?

He got beet up!

What’s a scarecrow detective called?

Strawlock Holmes!

What did the scarecrow say on a hot day in Oz?

‘If I only had some rain!’

What’s got paws and claws and stands in the middle of a field?

A bearcrow!

Why are scarecrows so cool?

They’re just a-maize-ing!

What did the scarecrow say to the DJ?

Turnip the beet!

Which city has the best soup?

Stock-holm!

What do you call soup siblings?

Broth-ers!

This soup is so amazing…

It takes my broth away!

Have you heard about the new Pho restaurant?

The menu is soup-erb!

What soup belongs to you?

Mine-strone!

Why didn’t the shop sell soup?

It was out of stock!

Waiter, waiter! There’s a caterpillar in my soup!

‘Don’t yell about it or everyone will want one!’

Waiter, waiter! What’s this fly doing in my soup?

‘Looks like the backstroke!’

Waiter, waiter! There’s a hair in my soup!

‘I’m so sorry, that should be rabbit soup’

Why did the soup spill everywhere?

It was leek soup!

Why do I love Japanese soup so much?

It makes Miso happy!

Which DC hero is always hungry?

Souper-Man!

What food should you serve at a sports event?

A souper bowl!

What happens when you eat alphabet soup?

You swallow your words!

What’s a ghost’s favourite soup?

Scream of mushroom!

I own a lot of soup stock

I’m a bouillonaire!

How much does Chinese soup weigh?

Wonton!

Knock knock! Who’s there? Irish stew! Irish stew who?

Irish stew in the name of the law!

Why was the ladle so controversial?

It caused quite a stir!

Where can you buy lots of soup?

The stock market!

What’s the difference between one parrot and two?

One parrot can’t carry a coconut… but toucan!

Why did the coconut not enjoy their visit to the fairground?

People queued up to throw balls at them!

Two coconuts are walking down the road…

One says, ‘Can you hear a horse?’

What’s a space coconut’s favourite chocolate bar?

A Milky Way!

What’s the easiest way to catch a chimp?

A chimp in a tree

Climb up a tree and pretend to be a coconut!

Why could the coconut not tell a joke properly?

He kept cracking himself up!

Onions isn’t the only food that can make you cry…

Have you ever dropped a coconut on your foot?

Why didn’t the coconut go to the ballet? 

They were afraid of the Nutcracker!

What do you call people who love hot chocolate?

Cocoa nuts!

Why did the coconut give up running the race?

They ran out of juice!

What do you call a coconut which doesn’t say much and doesn’t join in?

A coconut shy!

Did you hear about the person who could predict the future by looking at a coconut tree?

He’s a palm reader!

What do you call someone who searches for chocolate-covered coconut?

A Bounty hunter!

What is brown, hairy and wears sunglasses? 

A coconut on its summer holiday! 

What do you call a nut that goes into space?

A coco-naut!

Where does coconut milk come from?

Coconut cows!

What did one coconut say to the other?

Oh, wow! A talking coconut!

I bought coconut shampoo, then I realised…

I don’t even have a coconut!

What do you call a coconut after it’s been smashed in two?

A broke-onut!

What’s in the middle of a coconut?

The letter ‘o’!

Why are mathematicians like pirates?

They’re always looking for the X!

Why are obtuse triangles always frustrated?

They’re never right!

What’s the biggest problem with algebra jokes?

Maths quiz
Maths quiz

They’re too formulaic!

My pet snake is exactly 3.14m long…


It’s a π-thon!

What did one algebra book say to the other?

Don’t bother me, I’ve got my own problems!

I’ll do algebra or I’ll do statistics…

But graphing is where I draw the line!

In algebra, what are ten things you can always count on?

Your fingers!

What do you call a group of sheep standing in a circle?

Shepherd’s pi!

Why did the Romans find algebra easy?

A roman mathematician

Because X was always 10!

Why do plants dislike algebra?

It gives them square roots!

Why does algebra make you an amazing dancer?




Because you move to the algo-rhythm!

Which monster is best at algebra?

Dracula

Count Dracula!

Why can’t you make a crumble with 3.14 strawberries?

Why can’t you make a crumble with 3.14 strawberries?

What’s black, white and horrible?

An algebra test!

Which clever bird is good at maths?

Owl-gebra!

What type of maths do fish enjoy?

Algae-bra!

What do you call someone who’s amazing at algebra?

An X-pert!

How do people in Prague solve algebra problems?

Guess and Czech!

Why was the algebra homework so sad?

It had a lot of problems!

Why do mathematicians like linear algebra?

It’s straight forward!

What did the German sandwich say?

Gluten tag!

Why was the sandwich in a grumpy mood?

It woke up on the wrong side of the bread!

What did the sandwich say when they’d brushed their teeth?

I’m ready for bread!

What did they sandwich say when they forgot their homework?

Crumbs!

Why do footballers struggle to eat their sandwiches?

A sad football fan

Because they can’t use their hands!

What do cows always insist on having in their sandwich?

Moo-stard!

What weighs 800 pounds and sticks to the roof of your mouth ?

A peanut butter and Stegosaurus sandwich!

What did the car have as their sandwich filling?

Traffic jam!

What’s a hungry golfer’s favourite snack?

A mouldy sandwich watches a game of golf

A sand wedge!

What’s the best thing to eat at the beach?

A sand-wich!

Why do sandwiches love sitting near a log fire?

They like to feel all toasty!

What did one sandwich say to the other when they were in trouble?

You’re toast!

Why didn’t the sandwich want to stay up late?

It was past their bread time!

What did the sandwich say when it got a new job?

Lettuce celebrate!

What did the sandwich say during the meeting?

“Hold on, I’ve got a butter idea!”

What did the sandwich say to the salad when it got locked out?

Lettuce in!

Did you hear about the celebrity sandwich?

Fame went to their bread!

What do you call a pack of sandwiches on a skateboard?

Meals on wheels!

Where do sandwiches like to dance?

At a meatball!

How do you make a toasted sandwich in the jungle?

Put it under a gorilla!

What is pug short for?

Because they’ve got little legs!

Why does my pug run in circles?

It’s too hard to run in squares!

What’s cooler than a talking pug?

A spelling bee!

What did the pug and the mobile phone have in common?

They both had collar ID!

What type of instrument does a pug play?

A trom-bone!

Why was the pug such a good storyteller?

They knew how to paws for dramatic effect!

What does a pug eat for breakfast?

Bacon jokes

Pooched eggs!

Why did the pug buy lots of tiles?

They wanted to become a woofer!

What’s a dog’s favourite kind of pizza?

Pug-eroni!

My pug Minton ate two shuttle cocks…

Bad Minton!

Did you hear about the pug who farted in a lift?

Someone made a smell

It was wrong on so many levels!

Why did the pug sleep under the car?

It wanted to wake up oily!

Why did the pug push the toilet paper down a hill?

A man holding lots of toilet rolls

To get to the bottom!

What do you do when you’ve finished giving a dog a bath?

You pull the pug out!

Did you hear about the pug who went to the flea circus? 

They stole the show!

What has 1000 eyes and 2000 legs? 

500 pugs!

What do you call a pug that’s sitting next to a radiator?

A hot dog!

What did the pug say when they sat on sandpaper?

Rough!

Why can’t pugs dance?

They have two left feet!

Why did the snowman name his pug ‘Frost’?

Because Frost bites!

What do polar bears have for breakfast?

Brrrrr-eakfast!

What can you never eat for breakfast?

Dinner!

Why do the French only have one egg for breakfast?

One egg is un-oeuf!

What does a tightrope walker have in the mornings?

A balanced breakfast!

What does Salvador Dali have for breakfast?

Surreal!

What do dogs have for breakfast?

Pooched eggs!

What does a penguin have for breakfast?

Ice krispies!

Why did the restaurant keep firing pancake flippers?

They had a high turnover rate!

Why should you never have breakfast in bed?

Because you should have it on a plate!

What do cats have for breakfast?

Mice krispies!

Why did bacon and eggs get thrown out of the bar?

They didn’t serve breakfast!

What does a thesaurus have for breakfast?

Synonym buns!

Never stay in a haunted French B&B…

It will give you the crepes!

What do crows have with their breakfast?

Caw-fee!

What do cows have for breakfast?

Moosli!

How does Reece eat her cereal?

Witherspoon!

Why was the coffee upset?

It got mugged!

What does a snowman have for breakfast?

Frosties!

What’s scary and loves breakfast?

A cereal killer!

What does Peter Pan have for breakfast?

Pan cakes!

My cookie had no slip of paper on the inside

It was unfortunate!

What did the cook say after making a stir fry at a playground?

It was a wok in a park!

Where do you buy noodle soup in bulk?

The stock market!

What’s a cow’s favourite musical note? 

Beef-flat!

What happens when you cross a dinosaur and a pig? 

You get Jurassic Pork!

What type of meat does a vampire fear most? 

A steak through the heart!

My sister bet me £1000 I couldn’t build a car out of noodles

You shoud’ve seen her face when I drove pasta!

Where do cows go for lunch?

The calf-eteria!

What do you call an email full of meat adverts?

A cat looking at a computer

Spam!

Did you hear about the taco who got into danger?

Their life was at steak!

Why did the block of tofu cross the road?

To prove it wasn’t chicken!

I suddenly realised tofu is overrated.

It just a curd to me!

Chinese food: £20. Delivery charge: £2

Forgetting part of the order? Riceless!

What did the crowd shout at the hot dog during a race? 

Ketchup!

Saying no to dessert after a Chinese meal…

Will cost you a fortune!

How do you stop someone stealing your chips?

A quadruple cheeseburger

By using a burger alarm!

How do you make a hamburger laugh?

Give it a pickle!

How does Han Solo order Chinese food?

With an E-wok!

Have you heard about the new Wookiee burger?

It’s a bit Chewie!

What do you call an easy lifestyle spent eating lots of Chinese food?

Lo Meintenance!

What is a slice of bacon’s favourite day?

Fry-day!

Elton John hates ordering Chinese food

Soy seems to be the hardest word!

What do you get if you cross a cheetah and a burger?

Fast food!

A Chinese restaurant tried to charge me for 1000kg of food

They thought I’d ordered the one tonne soup!

Waiter, what’s your thumb doing on my steak?

I didn’t want it to fall on the floor again…

Learing to cook Chinese food can be really difficult.

It takes a lot of wok!

What’s a skeleton’s favourite food?

Spare ribs!

What does the Easter Bunny order from the Chinese takeaway?

Hop Suey!

What do Italian chefs make in Chinese restaurants?

Ciao Mein!

What do you get if you cross a karate teacher and a pig?

A pork chop!

What do you say to a burnt steak who’s passed an exam?

A chef

Well done!

What do you call a cow who has been knighted?

Sir Loin!

Why did the packet of ham go to the doctor?

They wanted to be a cured meat!

Did you hear Kikkoman moved their factory to China?

They outsauced it!

What did the orange say on holiday?

Do you speak Mandarin?

How long does it take to brew Chinese tea?

Oolong time!

Did you hear about the man who burned down the dumpling factory?

It was an act of wonton destruction!

What did the ketchup say to the hot dog?

A hot dog

Nice to meat you!

Why did the butcher work seven days a week?

A butcher

To make ends meat!

How do brains say hello?

With a brain wave!

What kind of fish performs brain surgery?

A Neuro-Sturgeon!

Why didn’t the brain take a bath?

It didn’t want to get brainwashed!

What do you get if you mix rain and brains?

A brain storm!

What does a brain wear?

A thinking cap!

What happens when a brain gets scared?

It loses its nerve!

What kind of insect eats brains?

A zom-bee!

How do you turn a brain into water?

Take away the ‘b’ !

Why shouldn’t you argue with a fictional character?

Their minds are made up!

What keeps working even after its fired?

A neuron!

What do you call an empty skull?

A no-brainer!

What did the patient say to the brain surgeon?

‘Let me give you a piece of my mind!’

I told the doctor I didn’t want brain surgery…

But they changed my mind!

What’s a brain’s favourite boat?

A blood vessel!

Why do brains put chocolate under their pillows?

To have sweet dreams!

‘Doctor, doctor, there’s an elephant on my head!’

‘I can see you have a lot on your mind’

Why can’t a brain be 12 inches long?

Because then it would be a foot!

Why did the brain put on mascara and blusher?

It wanted to make up its mind!

What do you call a brain working in a bank?

The head manager!

What do you call a brain with a fish in it?

A think tank!

Butterflies…

They aren’t what they used to be!

What do you get if you swallow a moth?

Butterflies in your tummy!

What do you call a butterfly that’s passing you?

A flutterby!

Why didn’t the butterfly go to the dance?

It was a moth ball!

What does a confidence caterpillar become?

A social butterfly!

What’s a caterpillar’s favourite way to swim?

The butterfly!

What did the nervous spider say?

‘Sorry, I’ve got butterflies in my tummy!’

What do you get if you want a cheap butterfly?

A margarinefly!

What do you call a moth in it’s fanciest outfit?

A butterfly!

Can you make cheese swim?

No, but you can make the butterfly!

What did the butterfly say when it got in trouble?

‘I butterfly away!’

What did the caterpillar say to the butterfly?

‘I just feel like you’ve really changed!’

What did the butterfly say to the shy caterpillar?

‘You just need to come out of your shell!’

What’s a butterfly’s favourite food?

Cocoonuts!

How do you eat a butterfly?

You spread its wings!

What did the fortune teller say to the caterpillar?

‘I see big changes in your future!’

What do butterflies use to hold up their houses?

Cater-pillars!

When butterflies get nervous…

Do they feel people in their stomachs?

What’s the biggest insect in the world?

The 100m butterfly!

What sort of fly loves bread?

A butterfly!

What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and an elephant?

Big holes all over Australia!

What do you get if you cross a chicken and a clock?

An alarm cluck!

What do you get if you cross a turtle and a giraffe?

A turtle neck!

What do you get if you cross a turtle and a porcupine?

A slowpoke!

What do you get if you cross a policeman and a skunk?

Law and odour!

What do you get if you cross a pig and a dinosaur?

Jurassic Pork!

What do you get if you cross the road?

To the other side!

What do you get if you cross a daisy and a crocodile?

I don’t know, but I wouldn’t try sniffing it!

What do you get if you cross a galaxy with a toad?

Star Warts!

What do you get if you cross a bat and a bell?

A dingbat!

What do you get if you feed cement to a chicken?

A brick layer!

What do you get if you cross a jeep with an elephant?

A car with a big trunk!

What do you get if you cross a snowman and a shark?

Frostbite!

What do you get if you cross a cat and a parrot?

A carrot!

What do you get if you cross a duck and some cereal?

Quacker oats!

What do you get if you cross a sheep and a kangaroo?

A woolly jumper!

What do you get if you cross a cheetah and a burger?

Fast food!

What do you get if you cross a centipede and a parrot?

A walkie-talkie!

What do you get if you cross a karate teacher and a pig?

A pork chop!

What do you get if you cross a cow and a trampoline?

A milkshake!

How do birds find stuff they like online?

The owl-gorithm!

Where do you find boats online?

Google docks!

What’s a bird’s favourite website?

Twitter!

What do you call an online potato?

A You-Tuber!

What do you call a sick online celeb?

An Instagram Influenza!

What does a computer use to buy things?

Cache!

Why was the volcano annoyed?

It couldn’t find a good hotspot!

Why is Wi-Fi so bad in Russia?

Because they use the inter-nyet!

Why is complimentary Wi-Fi so good?

It’s always saying nice things!

Why shouldn’t you use a sausage’s Wi-Fi?

It’s the wurst!

What’s Wes Anderson’s favourite browser?

Fantastic Mr Firefox!

Why should you never go camping on the internet?

There’s too many bugs!

Why did the mummy stay in his tomb?

He wanted to be encrypted!

Why did PowerPoint cross the road?

To get to the other slide

Why should you always plug your apple phone into a carton?

To give it some juice!

what do you call two monkeys who share an Amazon account?

Prime mates!

Where do birds keep their photos?

On the cloud!

Why does the cookie monster love going online?

He always accepts cookies!

Which key is always trying to get off the keyboard?

The escape key!

What do internet users tie their hair up with?

A bandwidth!

Why are fishermen so good at singing?

They can really carry a tuna!