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Turtle Jokes

Just sit back, shell-ax and enjoy the laughing at Beano's banterful bunch of top turtle jokes!

Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:ย  July 6th 2021

Once you're finished howling at these, swim on over to our funny fish jokes, buzzing bee jokes or maybe even some catastrophic cat jokes!

For more comedy inspiration, head over to Beano's great joke generator!ย 

What do you call a turtle who is only awake at night?

A noc-turtle!

turtle jokes

I went into a book store to ask if they had any books about turtles. The cashier asked, hardback?

I said, yeah, and little heads!

turtle jokes

My favourite teacher at school was Mrs. Turtle

Strange name but she TORTOISE well!

turtle jokes

Why are turtles always shopping?

They like to shell out!

Turtle jokes

What happens when you get into fight with a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle?

You get shell shocked!

turtle jokes

What kind of jokes do sea turtles tell?

Shellarious ones!

Turtle jokes

What do you call a turtle with 6 feet?

A 6-foot turtle!

turtle jokes

What do you call a flying turtle?

A shellacopter!

Turtle jokes

What is a turtles favourite game?


Turtle jokes

What does a turtle need to ride a bike?

A shellmet!

turtle jokes

What's a turtles favourite sandwich?

Seanut butter and jellyfish!

turtle jokes

What do you call a famous turtle?

A shellebrity!

Turtle jokes

What did the cow say to the turtle?

Get a mooooove on!

turtle jokes

Where do you send turtles who commit crimes?

To the shell block!

turtle jokes

Why is turtle wax so expensive?

Because their ears are so small!

turtle jokes

What kind of photos does a turtle take?


turtle jokes

What does a turtle do on it's birthday?

It shellebrates!

turtle jokes

Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station!

Turtle jokes

How do turtles communicate?

A shellphone!

Turtle jokes

What do you get when you cross a turtle and a llama?

A turtle-neck sweater!

turtle jokes
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