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290 Word Jokes That Are So Punny!

What's in a word? Loads of laughs! So ditch the dictionary and wrap your chops round our lexicon of lolz!

🤣
Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  December 22nd 2021

These jokes are really rewording! Get ready for some punny word play with these hilarious word jokes! If you've got time for more laughs, check out our clock jokes! We've also got lol-worthy library jokes, and if you liked those, stick your nose in these great book jokes ! Check out more hilarious jokes on our jokes hub!

What do you call a rabbit with fleas?

Rabbit jokes thumbnail
Rabbit jokes thumbnail

Bugs Bunny?

How do you build a flea circus?

A big pair of clown shoes

Start from scratch?

How do fleas get from A to B?

The itch hike?

What’s the difference between a flea and a coyote?

One howls on the prairie, the other prowls on the hairy!

What do you call a happy flea?

A hop-timist!

What do you call a sad flea?

A pessimist tick!

What do you say to a clean dog?

Long time no flea!

How do you start an insect race?

One, two, flea, GO!

Did you hear that the pet shop is selling dirty dogs?

It’s buy one, get one flea!

Which insect is the first to run away?

The flea!

It’s no surprise my dog is always scratching…

We bought him at the flea market!

Did you hear about the scruffy cat with a watch on its collar?

The tick was watching!

Vet: “I’m sorry I’m gonna have to put this dog down.”
Owner: “Fleas?”

Vet: No, my arms are aching!

I took my cat to the vet for fleas.

A cat getting a check-up at the vet, while a rubber chicken looks on

They refused to give him any!

How do fleas start their cars?

Jump start!

Two fleas are going to town...

One says "Do you want to walk or take a dog?“

What did one flea on Pugsly Addams say to another flea on Pugsly Addams?

See you on Wednesday?

What do you call a pig with fleas?

Pork scratchings!

How do you pick up a flea?

Use your mite!

How do you get rid of fleas?

Politely: Fleas go away!

Did you hear about the snot that went surfing?

Total wipe out!

Did you hear about the snot that went surfing?

It got caught in a drip tide!

What did the snot say to the person wiping their nose?

Hankie very much!

BEWARE…

Gross Jokes
Gross Jokes

These jokes are SNOT funny!

You think my nose is runny?

It’s snot!

Lord Nelsnot excelled at Nasal Academy…

He was great at tying snots!

I remember when I was a toddler I had a snot problem…

It’s very nosetalgic!

What’s the best book to read when you’ve got a runny nose?

Phlegmony Snicket!

I thought I had something up my nose…

When I looked in the mirror there was snot!

What does a snail call their nose?

A double barrelled snot gun!

Is that snail slime on your jumper?

It’s snot!

What do you call a small nose?

Slim Pickings

Why was the snot sad at football practice?

It didn’t get picked!

Where does Snot go for lunch?

Booger King

Why was the snot tired?

It was wiped out!

What do you say when you have too much snot?

A tissue!

Did you hear about the Sherpa who had a runny nose?

He was a Mountain Slimer!

Why did the man chase his nose?

Because it was running

What kind of car does Ant-Man drive? 

A Mini!

What colour is snot?

Slime Green

Where does the word “snot” come from?

It’s Phlegmish!

What does a kitten have up her nose?

Mew-cus!

Why did Ant-Man not get a job as a butcher?

The steaks were too high!

Why did Thor stop hanging out with Ant-Man?

He kept bugging him!

What does Ant-Man call miniature golf?

A mouldy sandwich watches a game of golf

Golf!

Why did Ant-Man laugh when he walked through the park?

The grass was tickling his armpits!

What do you call Ant-Man spending time with the Avengers?

Avengers Jokes
Avengers Jokes

A little get together!

What does Ant-Man call his pet rabbit?

Bugs Bunny!

What do you call Ant-Man standing on a ship?

Ant and deck!

What does Ant-Man have for breakfast?

Croissant

A croiss-ant!

Why is Ant-Man so good at telling jokes?

He’s a Marvel-lous comic!

Who looks after Ant-Man’s money?

A man with a silly amount of cash

His account-ant!

Why does Ant-Man have lots of old chairs? 

He loves ant-iques!

Why does Ant-Man always smell nice?

He uses deodor-ant!

How many Simon Cowell’s does it take to change a lightbulb?

13! 1 to do it, 12 to stand around saying it’s not good enough!

What did Ant-Man when he was given free pizza?

Brilli-ant!

What do call Ant-Man when he can predict the future?

Clairvoy-ant!

What did the doctor give to a poorly Ant-Man?

Ant-iobiotics!

How did Ant-Man travel to hospital after hurting his foot?

In an ambul-ants!

Why doesn’t Ant-Man eat ice cream?

99 Flake ice cream

He’s lactose intoler-ant!

What did the cow sing on X Factor?

I like to moooove it mooove it!

What were X Factor winners One Direction doing in a wig shop?

Looking for Hairy Styles!

Where does Ant-Man go on holiday?

Ant-igua!

This X Factor contestant sounds like an apartment

Their voice is a little flat!

If you’ve been thinking about going on X Factor with a friend

Just duet!

Simon Cowell asked me if I can sing anything that’s not Oasis

I said maybe…!

Did you hear about the singing laptop in X Factor?

It was a Dell!

Why did the pony get voted off X factor?

He was a little hoarse!

A boy walks into his X Factor audition in floods of tears.

Judges: We have a winner for this year!

Where do birds have their songs judged? 

At the eggs factory!

What did the judges say to the monk who turned up at X Factor with no sheet music?

You've got no chants!

What did the French mushroom sing on X Factor?

We Are The Champignons!

What just happened on X Factor really shocked me!

It only had 4 advert breaks!

Do you remember when X Factor...

Was just Roman sunblock!

Why does Simon Cowell pull his trousers up to his nipples?

He cares about his high jean levels!

Jesus can turn water in wine...

But Simon Cowell can turn whining into money!

Why is Ant-Man such a good swimmer?

Because he’s boy-ant!

Simon Cowell spends £500k on his personal security every year.

Letter Jokes

It would be cheaper to just be nicer to people!

Did you hear about the scissors that auditioned at X Factor?

They didn’t make the cut!

What’s a chickens favorite TV show?

Double yolk egg

The Eggs Factor!

What’s the best computer to take on a rainy day?

A dog in a smart raincoat

A Mac!

Why did the elephant refuse to use a computer?

It was scared of the mouse!

Why was the computer exhausted? 

It had a hard drive!

Which computer sang Rolling In The Deep?

A cat looking at a computer

A Dell!

The average height of a garden ornament is 10 inches tall.

A gnome

That’s a little gnome fact!

What do you call an average sized bottle of milk?

Ordin-dairy!

How much sleep does the average parent need?

A sleepy man at the dining table

Just five more minutes!

What do you call an average potato who talks during football matches?

A common-tato!

Why did it take the farmer ages to shave a big sheep with average-sized clippers?

Bacon jokes

The shear size!

Whose dad loves guacamole?

An exploding avocado

Nacho average dad!

How did the baby jump higher than the average house?

Houses can’t jump!

What grades did the average pirate get at school?

High Cs!

Why does nobody laugh at jokes about the average pizza?

They’re always too cheesy!

What’s the average temperature of a Star Wars shower?

Luke warm!

What do you call a monster film that’s just average?

A green slime character

Mediogre!

What is the average height of a Scottish man?

Fife Eleven!

What do you call an average dessert?

Jokes about spoons

Mediogurt!

Where are average people’s clothes made?

The satis-factory!

My maths teacher said I was an average student…

Funny algebra jokes

I said, “That’s mean!”

How does Hulk look in a suit?

Smashing!

What happened when Hulk, Thor and Iron Man went to Ikea?

Avengers Assembled!

Why is the Hulk so good at advertising?

He's a huge banner!

What do you call an injured Hulk?

A Bruised Banner!

How do you know if the Hulk is jealous?

He's green with envy!

What do you call green potatoes?

Hulk's Mash!

Who does the Hulk turn into if he hasn't shaved in a few days?

Mark Scruffalo!

What's the Hulk's favourite tube station?

Turnham Green!

What do you call the Hulk when he's wearing Captain America's suit?

The Star-Spangled Banner!

Hoe does the Hulk make money?

He flips houses!

What's big, green, and doesn't come out in the wash?

The indelible Hulk!

What's big, green and trustworthy?

The Credible Hulk!

Why shouldn't you buy Hulk t-shirts?

They're a rip off!

What does the Hulk wear to bed?

Pa-gammas!

Why doesn't Hulk's trousers rip when he transforms?

The science experiments altered his jeans!

What does the Hulk call his grandmother?

Gamma!

How does the Hulk go food shopping?

He buys in bulk!

What's green, miserable and sits in a corner?

The Incredible Sulk!

Have you heard about the new Hulk fashion line?

It's all the rage!

Why does the Hulk always recycle?

He likes to go green!

Why did the troll army retreat?

They had been ogre run by the enemy!

Why was the troll late for school?

An alarm clock

They had ogre slept!

What do you call a goblin with a sprained ankle?

A hobblin’ goblin!

Which Troll character sounds like an old door?

Funny jokes

Creek!

What did the troll say when they bumped into a friend on holiday?

Bacon jokes

“Small world!”

Why is it difficult to make jokes about trolls?

The jokes always go above their heads!

How do you cross a Middle Earth bridge?

You use J.R.R. Tokens!

How do you get past Shrek’s fence?

One-liner jokes
One-liner jokes

You climb ogre it!

How do you catch a troll?

Internet Jokes

Use click bait!

Which Trolls character can easily hide in a tree?

Pug Jokes

Branch!

How do you ruin a troll’s day?

Toad jokes

Take away their internet access!

Why should you never prank a cheerleader?

They never fall for it!

What's a cheerleader's favourite colour?

Yeller!

What's a cheerleader's favourite cereal?

Cheerios!

A cheerleader walks into a café and says

'Give me a tea!'

What's a cheerleader's favourite fruit?

Pom-pomegranate!

Why are plants bad cheerleaders?

They're always rooting for themselves!

What do you call a police vehicle full of cheerleaders?

A squad car!

How do you know if a cheerleader is nervous?

She's jumpy!

Cheerleading has really progressed over the last few years

It's come along in leaps and bounds!

Why did the cheerleader ruin dinner?

She tossed the salad!

What did the cheerleader's mum say before the big competition?

Good tuck!

What was the cheerleader called?

Ariel!

How do cheerleaders stay in touch?

With a megaphone!

Why did the pharaoh fire the cheerleading team?

They made the wrong kind of pyramid!

What do wasp cheerleaders chant?

'Bee aggressive, bee bee aggressive!'

What do cheerleaders drink before a game?

Root beer!

What does a cheerleading banana do?

The splits!

Why did the ghost become a cheerleader?

To show off the school spirit!

What sort of shoes do cheerleaders wear?

Flip flops!

What's a cheerleader's favourite season?

Handspring!

How to get a troll to do chores?

Use a remote con-troll!

What is a troll’s favourite time of day?

Shrek-fast!

What is Barb’s favourite type of music?

Rock n’ troll!

What you call a small monster wrapped in pastry?

A row of sausage rolls

A sausage troll!

Gepetto thought he’d get rich making shadow puppets…

But they were just projected figures!

Why did Pinocchio cry?

Because of the Puppet tears

Does anyone know if Pinocchio hated glove puppets?

A show of hands, perhaps?

Why did Pinocchio hate his nose?

He didn’t get to pick it!

What language was the story of Pinocchio originally written in?

Wood Polish!

Where does Pinocchio go to hang out?

The Yewth Club

Why did the lobster fisherman throw Pinocchio in the sea?

Because Pinocchio told him he wanted to be a real buoy!

How did Pinocchio dry off after being eaten by the whale?

With a beach dowel!

Why did Pinocchio want a pay as you go phone?

He just wanted something with no strings attached for a change!

Why was Gepetto hung, drawn and quartered?

Tree son

Pinocchio hated his nose…

It grew on him!

What did Pinocchio say when he discovered that he could float?

I'm a real buoy!

Why doesn’t Pinocchio’s nose ever grow longer than 12 inches?

Then it’d be a foot and that would be a much weirder story!

Is Pinocchio stressed?

He’s just highly strung!

When Pinocchio does a poo…  

It’s called a dowel movement!

Did you see that guy playing Pinocchio in Panto?

I’m afraid his acting was a little wooden. Boy…

How did Gepetto get Pinocchio’s nose so shiny?

He glossed over it!

I was going to tell you all a Pinocchio joke…

But everyone nose it!

What was Pinocchio doing on a Lilo?

Lying!

Why did Pinocchio clean his bedroom?

He sawdust!

What's a phoenix's favorite snack?

Fire crackers!

What do you get when you touch a phoenix?

Bird-degree burns!

What do you call a flaming bird that can’t fly??

Joaquin Phoenix!

A guy dressed as a chicken on fire tried to break into my house.

If phoenix anything I'll be mad!

Order of the Phoenix is my favourite Harry Potter book.

Dead Sirius!

I thought my days of misquoting popular idioms were over.

But I’m like a phoenix, rising from molasses!

When should you buy a phoenix?

When its going cheep!

Why did the phoenix get in trouble at Hogwarts?

It was caught tweeting on its test!

Why was Dumbledore so excited to see the Joker?

Dumbledore's wand

He heard there was a Joking Phoenix in it!

It was so hot in Phoenix, Arizona, that the entire city burned to ground

Don’t worry, it rose again the next morning!


The Order of the Phoenix...

I'll have set meal A, please!

I just flew here from Phoenix, Arizona

Boy are my arms tired!

What's the best city to be cremated in?

Phoenix!

Why do Phoenixes fly south for the winter?

It's too far to walk!

What’s a Phoenix’s favourite Pokemon trainer?

Ash!

Why did the Phoenix cross the road?

To prove she wasn’t chicken!

Why is Bruno never surprised by anything?

He saw it coming!

What did Pico say when Antonio wouldn't play with him?

Toucan play at that game!

Why was Camilo crying?

He was being a real baby!

What does Mirabel do for fun?

She climbs the family tree!

Did you hear the joke about the Encanto mountains?

They're hill-arious!

Why was Camilo unhappy?

He wasn't feeling himself!

What did Luisa say to the rude donkey?

You've got bad stable manners!

Mirabel is a lot of fun...

She really brings the house down!

What happened when the casita broke a window?

It was pane-ful!

What did Mirabel say to Isabela?

Hey bud, how's it growing?

How was Pepa?

Under the weather!

Luisa is very sweet...

She'd move mountains for you!

Why do the Magrigal family love their powers?

It opens a lot of doors for them

How does Luisa get into the casita?

With a don-key!

Have you heard about the Madrigal Casita?

It's lit!

What instructions came with the Madrigal Casita?

Candle with care!

Why did Pico stop using his phone?

He had a huge bill!

What happened to Camilo during the film?

He really grew as a person!

What did Bruno say when he realised everything was going wrong?

'Rats!'

What do Phoenixes smell like?

Big nose jokes page thumbnail
Big nose jokes page thumbnail

Burnt nose hair!

Why did Mirabel try to find Bruno?

To lend a helping sand!

What kind of jacket would a Phoenix wear?

A blazer!

Did you hear about the Phoenix on the TV?

They had their 15 minutes of flame!

Did you hear about the Phoenix who lost their job?

A happy flame

Their career went up in smoke!

What did Alma say to the candle?

You light up my life!

Did you hear the joke about Bruno?

Shh! We don't talk about Bruno!

Why is Encanto so warm?

It's not Chile!

What did Mariano say to Isabela?

I'm WILD about you!

Did you hear about Isabela?

She's really blossomed!

What's so spooky about Dolores' gift?

It's very ear-y!

Have you heard about Dolores' special gift?

No, but she has!

Why doesn't Antonio talk to Jaguars?

They're never spotted!

Who is Donald Duck’s favourite musician?

A duck surrounded by laughing emojis

Drake!

What is Donald Duck’s favourite dip?

An exploding avocado

Quackamole!

Why did Mickey Mouse get hit with a snowball?

A mouse and a duck in the snow

Because Donald ducked!

Why did Donald Duck fly south for winter?

A duck on a sandy beach

It was too far to walk!

Who stole Donald Duck’s soap?

The robber ducky!

Why does Donald Duck quack? 

Because he can’t moo!

Why did Donald Duck have to replace his TV screen?

A duck next to a broken TV screen

It was quacked!

What does Donald Duck like to eat for a snack?

Cream quackers!

What type of firework does Donald Duck enjoy the most?

A duck watching a fireworks display

A fire-quacker!

Why do people like dining out with Donald Duck?

He always takes care of the bill!

What time does Donald Duck wake up in the morning? 

An alarm clock

The quack of dawn!

What do you call Donald Duck standing in front of an orchestra? 

A duck standing next to a stage

A con-duck-tor!

Why was Donald Duck jumpy during Christmas dinner?

A loud exploding Christmas cracker

He didn’t like the sound of the quackers!

Why would Donald Duck make a good detective?

A duck standing next to a wall

He’d always quack the case!

What do you get if you cross Donald with a big whale? 

Moby Duck!

What sort of TV show does Donald Duck love the most?

Duck and mouse

Duck-umentaries!

Why did Donald Duck call the doctor? 

He was feeling under the feather!

Why doesn’t Donald Duck like having responsibilities?

He tends to quack under pressure!

What did Donald Duck do when he read these jokes?

A duck in a sailor’s costume

He quacked up!

What does a mermaid have on the end of her hands?

Fin-gers!

Why did the mermaid blush?

She saw the ocean's bottom!

What do mermaids eat for tea?

Fish fingers!

What does a mermaid wear on the end of her tail?

Flip flops!

Why was the mermaid cross?

Because the seaweed!

How did the mermaid win lots of money?

She played the grotto-ery!

What did the mermaid say to the lobster?

'You're being shellfish!'

Why do mermaids get cold?

It's very clammy under the sea!

What do you call a mermaid looking for her hairbrush?

A beach comber!

What's a mermaid's favourite part of the playground?

The sea saw!

Who keeps the ocean clean and tidy?

Mer-maids!

Why are mermaids such good singers?

They practise their scales!

What do mermaids eat with ice cream?

Jellyfish!

How do mermaids stay in contact?

Sea mail!

How do octopuses make mermaids laugh?

With ten tickles!

Why don't mermaids use computers?

They don't like the net!

Why don't mermaids play tennis?

They don't want to get caught in the net!

What do mermaids sleep on?

Waterbeds!

Where do mermaids keep their money?

In a riverbank!

Why was the mermaid suspicious?

She smelt something fishy!

What do mermaids use their phones for?

Taking shellfies!

What did the mermaid find shaking on the bottom of the sea?

A nervous wreck!

Why didn't it work out between the sailor and the mermaid?

Their relationship was on the rocks!

Why did the mermaid cross the sea?

To get to the other tide!

What did the mermaid say when she got stuck in some seaweed?

'Kelp!'

How did the mermaid comfort her heart broken friend?

'There's plenty more fish in the sea!'

Why should you always go to a mermaid party?

You'll have a whale of a time!

What was wrong with the mermaid?

She was feeling crabby!

Where do mermaids pick up fast food?

At the dive-through!

Where did the mermaid and the fisherman meet?

Online!

What do mermaids ride?

Seahorses!

Why do mermaids live in saltwater?

Pepper makes them sneeze!

Why are mermaids so gullible?

They fall for things hook, line and sinker!

How do you get in touch with a mermaid?

Drop her a line!

How good are mermaids at swimming?

Fintastic!

What do mermaids eat?

Fish and ships!

How did the mermaid's date go?

Swimmingly!

What does a mermaid get from a shark?

She gets as far away as possible!

How did the mermaid get to hospital?

In a clambulance!

Where do mermaids live?

Fin-land!

What kind of pets do mermaids have?

A catfish!

What card did the mermaid get when she was sick?

A get whale soon card!

What do mermaids use for money?

Goldfish!

What does a mermaid have in her bag?

Her octo-purse!

What sort of doctor do mermaids go to see?

A sturgeon!

Did the mermaid splash the dolphin by mistake?

No, she did it on porpoise!

What's a mermaid's favourite tv show?

Whale of fortune!

What do mermaids use to write with?

Squid ink and a fountain pen!

Why did the mermaid fall in love with the fisherman?

He had allure!

What do you call something hand crafted in the ocean?

Mer made!

How was the sun reviewed on Google?

1 star!

What do you call medical students who graduated online?

Google DOCS!

Why is Google like a submarine?

It goes slow if you open too many windows!

Why was Google not available?

They'd gone PHISHING!

Why did Google leave the shop?

It was just browsing!

Why does Google like to have for dessert?

A cookie!

What does Google use to buy things?

Cache!

Why did Google cross the road?

To get to the other SITE!

Why did Google not go to the wedding?

The reception was terrible!