Book Jokes

Check out Beano's batch of bonkers book jokes!

Are you a book-lover looking for a laugh? These book jokes will inspire you to read on!

Don't have a joke book to hand? Don't worry! We've collected this shelf-load of jokes about books especially for you.

Once you're done here, check out the Beano Joke Generator for more comedy inspiration. From school jokes to teacher jokes, maths jokes to random knock knock jokes - we've got 'em all!

I went to the library to get a medical book on abdominal pain.

Somebody had torn the appendix out.

I asked the librarian for a book on Pavlov's dog and Schrodinger's cat.

She said it rang a bell but didn't know if it was there or not!

I’m writing a book about the advantages and disadvantages of being both an author and a scammer...

It’s called Prose and Cons!

What did the sketchbook say to the novel?

I'm drawing a blank!

I had plans to read a book about sinkholes...

But they fell through!

I just finished a book about Mount Everest...

It was a cliff hanger!

Why does the book lover always need more books?

She goes through them too quickly!

Want to hear a joke about a piece of paper?

Nevermind... it's tearable!

Why could the reading addict not stop buying books?

They had no shelf control!

Why did the Romanian stop reading at night?

They were giving the Bucharest!

What's the difference between a cat and a comma?

A cat has claws at the end of its paws, and a comma is a pause at the end of a clause!

Why do words and punctuation always end up in court?

Because they are waiting to be sentenced!

Why did Shakespeare write with ink?

Because he couldn't decide what pencil to use... 2B or not 2B!

Is there a word that contains all the vowels including y?


A book fell on my head...

I only have myshelf to blame!

Why do accountants have big muscles?

Because they keep trying to balance the books!

I asked the librarian if I could have a burger and chips. They said, this is a library!

So I whispered, can I have a burger and chips!

What do you call Tom Sawyer's friend after he lost a lot of weight?

Huckleberry Thin!

What's a rabbit's favourite novel?

Warren Peace!

Why are books always scared of their sequel?

Because they're after them!

I went into a book store to ask if they had any books about turtles. The cashier asked, hardback?

I said, yeah, and little heads!

Why is a physics book always unhappy?

Because it has a lot of problems!

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity...

It's impossible to put down!

Which books are the hardest to force yourself to read through?

Friction books!

What was Schrödinger's favourite childhood book?

The Cat in The Box by Dr. Seuss!

Why should you not write a book on penguins?

Because writing a book on paper is much easier!

Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He couldn't put it down!

How many books can Dora fit in her empty backpack?

One - after that it's not empty!

Who's a robot's favourite author?

Anne Droid!

What does a wasp say when it is having an identity crisis?

Too bee or not too bee?

Who writes books for little bees?

Bee-trix Potter!

What's a bee's favourite novel?

The Great Gats-bee!

The dwarfs from Snow White want to tell their side of the story...

They've signed a 7 figure book deal!

What does Buzz Lightyear like to read?

Comet books!

I've got a book in my bathroom that I write my feelings and personal thoughts into while on the toilet.

I call it my diarrhea!

Why did the librarian get kicked off the plane?

Because it was overbooked!

Which building is the tallest?

The library ... it has the most stories!

Why are writers always cold?

Because of all the drafts!

What does a librarian take fishing?


I was reading some books about loud music...

But there were too many volumes!

Mum's spaghetti got in the Guinness Book of Records...

I hope she cleans the pages!

I wish I had a book about boomerangs...

I lent out my last one but it never came back!

I'm writing a book about banana peels...

It's non-friction!

Finally found my book of maps...


Where do library books like to sleep?

Under their covers!

When is a green book not green?

When it's read!

Why was the maths book sad?

It had too many problems!

Why did the bird fly into the library?

Because he was looking for bookworms!

Kid in front of black board with laughing emoji - follow this link from our World Book Day jokes to our school jokes

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