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Awesome Jokes!

Chasing some chuckles? Get your guffaw on with these awesome jokes!

Ready for some riotous rib-ticklers? Then read on! Should you need even more yuks, check out these cheesetastic knock knock jokes! Why not take a peek at our preposterous pile of ‘Why did…’ and ‘what did…’ jokes? If you’ve STILL not giggled your teeth loose – you can find plenty more jokes here

Why did the ant go “1…2…3…4…”?

Because it’s the little things in life that count!

Did you hear about the man who farted in a lift?

It was wrong on so many levels!

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

Because it was dead!

Why did the clown get turned down for a mortgage?

He couldn’t afford the CLOWN payments! (plus he was a clown)

Times New Roman and Comic Sans walk into a bar

‘Get out!’ says the barman ‘We don’t serve your type here!’

My grandpa’s last words were “Pints! Gallons! Litres!”

That spoke volumes!

Why did the chicken cross the road?

He was social distancing!

What looks like half a sausage?

A smiley face

The other half!

Why can’t Bigfoot touch his toes?

Because he doesn’t exist!

What did the skeleton say to the barman?

I’ll have a drink and a mop!

What’s the difference between a one humped camel and a two humped camel?

A hump!

Why did the giraffe look ridiculous?

Because it was a giraffe!

What did the potato say to the chip?

“For goodness sake, put some clothes on!”

What did the farmer say to the cow when it wouldn’t go to sleep?

A farmer and a sleepy cow

It’s pasture bedtime!

Did you hear the jokes about the fungus?

mushroom jokes

You wont like it, but it might grow on you!

I bought the world’s worst thesaurus yesterday.

Hilarious jokes

Not only is it terrible, it’s terrible!

What’s a foot long and slippery?

hilarious

A slipper!

How does a Dalek keep its skin soft?

dr who jokes

EXFOLIATE!

My favourite teacher at school was Mrs. Turtle

turtle jokes

Strange name but she TORTOISE well!

Do you know why I stay up late on weekends?

Monday jokes

Because sleep is for the week!

Silly jokes