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Beano Comic

22 Awesome Jokes to Boost Your Day

Chasing some chuckles? Get your guffaw on with these awesome jokes!

Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  August 9th 2021

Ready for some riotous rib-ticklers? Then read on! Should you need even more yuks, check out these cheesetastic knock knock jokes! Why not take a peek at our preposterous pile of 'Why did...' and 'what did...' jokes? If you've STILL not giggled your teeth loose - you can find plenty more funny jokes on! 

What did one tectonic plate say to the other?

'There's too much friction between us!'

Did you hear about the man who farted in a lift?

It was wrong on so many levels!

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

Because it was dead!

Why did the clown get turned down for a mortgage?

He couldn't afford the CLOWN payments! (plus he was a clown)

Times New Roman and Comic Sans walk into a bar

'Get out!' says the barman 'We don't serve your type here!'

My grandpa’s last words were “Pints! Gallons! Litres!”

That spoke volumes!

Why did the chicken cross the road?

He was social distancing!

What looks like half a sausage?

The other half!

A smiley face

Why can't Bigfoot touch his toes?

Because he doesn't exist!

What did the skeleton say to the barman?

I'll have a drink and a mop!

What's the difference between a one humped camel and a two humped camel?

A hump!

Why did the giraffe look ridiculous?

Because it was a giraffe!

What did the farmer say to the cow when it wouldn’t go to sleep?

It’s pasture bedtime!

A farmer and a sleepy cow

Did you hear the jokes about the fungus?

You wont like it, but it might grow on you!

mushroom jokes

I bought the world’s worst thesaurus yesterday.

Not only is it terrible, it’s terrible!

Hilarious jokes

What's a foot long and slippery?

A slipper!


How does a Dalek keep its skin soft?


dr who jokes

My favourite teacher at school was Mrs. Turtle

Strange name but she tortoise well!

Do you know why I stay up late on weekends?

Because sleep is for the week!

Monday jokes

An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in.

A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves!

Silly jokes