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Bad Jokes!

Some jokes are so bad they're good. And some jokes are so bad, they're horrible! Here are 20 gags that'll make you groan!

The following funny jokes are actually absolute stinkers, so don’t say we didn’t warn you! 

Once you’ve repaired your sides after this fresh batch of bad gags, check out these silly jokes. Some of them are quite punny, actually… 

What do you call the feeling when you think you’ve already had a cup of tea?

A cup of tea

Déjà brew!

What do you call a cat that gets anything it wants?

A kind faced cat

Very purr-suasive!

What do you get a birdwatcher for their birthday?

A pheasant

A birthday pheasant!

Did you hear about the person who went to an underwater gym?

A mussel in the sea

They pulled a mussel!

What do you call a laughing motorcycle?

A motorbike rider

A Yamaha-haha!

What sound does a sleeping T-rex make?

T-rex asleep

A dino-snore!

What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A laughing watch face

A waist of time!

What’s a cat’s favourite Shakespeare play?

William Shakespeare

Romeow and Mew-liet!

What is a librarian’s favourite vegetable?

Peas

Quiet peas!

How many apples grow on a tree?

Apple

All of them!

Did you hear the joke about paper?

Paper being torn in half

It was tearable!

What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?

Nacho snack

Nacho cheese!

What’s the noisiest pet?

A man playing the trumpet

A trumpet!

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus giggle?

A smiling octopus

Ten tickles!

What do you call a dog who does magic tricks?

A magic dog

A Labracadabrador!

What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?

An old pirate with a beard

Aye matey!

Why did the invisible man turn down a new job?

Invisible man in a suit

He just couldn’t see himself doing it!

What does a zombie vegetarian eat?

A zombie hand reaches for a bowl of grain

Graaaaains!

Why couldn’t the bike stand up on its own?

A cyclist crying with laughter

It was two tired!

Why did the mobile phone wear glasses?

A mobile phone wearing glasses

Because it lost all its contacts!