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20 Terrible Jokes So Bad, They're Brilliant!

Some jokes are so bad they're good. And some jokes are so bad, they're horrible! Here are 20 gags that'll make you groan!

Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  August 12th 2021

The following funny jokes are actually absolute stinkers, so don't say we didn't warn you! 

Once you've repaired your sides after this fresh batch of bad gags, check out these silly jokes. Some of them are quite punny, actually... 

What do you call the feeling when you think you’ve already had a cup of tea?

Déjà brew!

A cup of tea

What do you call a cat that gets anything it wants?

Very purr-suasive!

A kind faced cat

What do you get a birdwatcher for their birthday?

A birthday pheasant!

A pheasant

Did you hear about the person who went to an underwater gym?

They pulled a mussel!

A mussel in the sea

What do you call a laughing motorcycle?

A Yamaha-haha!

A motorbike rider

What sound does a sleeping T-rex make?

A dino-snore!

T-rex asleep

What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!

A laughing watch face

What's a cat's favourite Shakespeare play?

Romeow and Mew-liet!

William Shakespeare

What is a librarian’s favourite vegetable?

Quiet peas!


How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them!


Did you hear the joke about paper?

It was tearable!

Paper being torn in half

What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese!

Nacho snack

What's the noisiest pet?

A trumpet!

A man playing the trumpet

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus giggle?

Ten tickles!

A smiling octopus

What do you call a dog who does magic tricks?

A Labracadabrador!

A magic dog

What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?

Aye matey!

An old pirate with a beard

Why did the invisible man turn down a new job?

He just couldn't see himself doing it!

Invisible man in a suit

What does a zombie vegetarian eat?


A zombie hand reaches for a bowl of grain

Why couldn't the bike stand up on its own?

It was two tired!

A cyclist crying with laughter

Why did the mobile phone wear glasses?

Because it lost all its contacts!

A mobile phone wearing glasses