The following funny jokes are actually absolute stinkers, so don’t say we didn’t warn you!
What do you call the feeling when you think you’ve already had a cup of tea?
What do you call a cat that gets anything it wants?
What do you get a birdwatcher for their birthday?
A birthday pheasant!
Did you hear about the person who went to an underwater gym?
They pulled a mussel!
What do you call a laughing motorcycle?
What sound does a sleeping T-rex make?
What do you call a belt made out of watches?
A waist of time!
What’s a cat’s favourite Shakespeare play?
Romeow and Mew-liet!
What is a librarian’s favourite vegetable?
How many apples grow on a tree?
All of them!
Did you hear the joke about paper?
It was tearable!
What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
What’s the noisiest pet?
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus giggle?
What do you call a dog who does magic tricks?
What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
Why did the invisible man turn down a new job?
He just couldn’t see himself doing it!
What does a zombie vegetarian eat?
Why couldn’t the bike stand up on its own?
It was two tired!
Why did the mobile phone wear glasses?
Because it lost all its contacts!