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65 Best & Funniest Jokes of the Year for Kids 2024!

Another year, another set of side-splittingly silly gags! Check out Beano's best jokes 2024!

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Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  January 10th 2024

You asked for jokes so here they are: the best jokes of 2023 (so far)!

Looking for even more jokes for 2023? Check out these top New Year jokes, these hilarious history jokes, good morning jokes or these shell-arious snail jokes – just for a laugh! And don't even mention our main joke page where you will find literally thousands of the funniest jokes of 2023.

Cripes! That's a lot of jokes!

Why did the man sprinkle sugar on his pillow?

He wanted to have sweet dreams!

If Dracula can't see his own reflection...

How come his hair is always neatly styled?

Dracula

Why are there so many vacuum cleaners on eBay?

They're all collecting dust!

A man with a silly amount of cash

Why shouldn't you play board games in the zoo?

There's always a cheetah!

A close up of a cheetah’s face

Got around to watching Doctor Who after all these years...

It was about time!

Doctor Who jokes
Doctor Who jokes

What do you call a man with gravy and potatoes on his head?

Stew!

A person thinking about spellings

What Fortnite mode do cows play?

Cattle Royale!

What do you get if you cross a pig with a dinosaur?

Jurassic pork!

Scientists have discovered that diarrhea is hereditary...

It runs in your genes! 

Someone made a smell

I watched Mary Poppins so many times I suffer from a rare condition with my sight...

Umdiddlyumdiddlyumdiddly eye!

A man with thick eyebrows

I broke my finger last week.

But on the other hand, I'm OK!

Someone stole my Microsoft Office and they're going to pay...

You have my Word! 

A cat looking at a computer

I entered ten puns in a pun contest hoping one would win...

But no pun in ten did!

What does a butcher do after travelling somewhere over a rainbow?

Weigh a pie!

Why do heavy metal fans love geology lessons?

Because they rock!

Why did the sticking plaster seller give out refunds?

Their customers said the products were a rip-off!

Why do Dalmatians hate playing hide and seek?

They’re always spotted first!

What’s the best time of day?

On a clock, it’s 6.30. Hands down.

Why don’t ants ever feel poorly?‍

Because they have little anty bodies.

Did you hear about the comedian who talked about roof tiles?

Their jokes went over everyone's head!

A pigeon doing stand-up comedy

Did you know Albert Einstein had a brother called Frank?‍

He was a scientist too!

Frankenstein's Monster goes trick or treating

Did you hear about the duck who became a doctor?

They were a quack!

How do astronauts organise their week?

They planet!

An astronaut

Why did the pancake get picked for the cricket team?

They made a good batter!

How do you make a water bed look magical?

Fill it with sparkling water!

What did the sea say to the ocean?

Nothing, they just waved!

Did you hear about the baker who wanted to deliver food with a drone?

It sounds a bit pie in the sky, really.

The man in the shop just tried to sell a bottle of milk that was out of date…

How dairy!

What do you call an old bear?

A gummy bear!

Why was the doctor flustered at work?

They had no patients!

How does the moon get their toenails cut? 

He eclipse them!

A full moon with a cheeky face

What do you call an alligator who solves crimes? 

An investi-gator!

Did you hear about the pig who made delicious cakes?

They were good at bacon!

Why was a lion and a witch in the wardrobe?

It's Narnia business!

“Dad, there’s a man at the door with a moustache”

“Tell him I’ve already got one!”

Did you hear about the slice of bread who was a criminal mastermind?

They were on the police's toast wanted list!

Why did Molly knit her grandson 3 socks?

She heard he'd grown a foot!

What kind of needlework is angry?

Cross stitch!

Why did the manager bring a pencil and paper to the match?

They were hoping for a draw!

@johnterry.26 | Instagram

What did Dory order from McDonald's?

The Big MacKerel!

Did you hear about the computer photographer?

They took screenshots!

Which farm animal always knows the time?

The watch dog!

When should you take a plum to dinner?

If you can't find a date!

What do you call a wrestler who always comes in second place?

The Penultimate Warrior!

I'm not saying I'm unfit...

But I just tried mud wrestling and the mud won!

I didn't like skydiving school

So I dropped out!

Why couldn’t Captain America find Thor’s brother?

He was Low-key!

What did one strand of DNA say to the other?

'Stop copying me!'

I quit my job as a postman when they gave me my first letter to deliver

I thought, this isn't for me!

What's a cheetahs favourite colour?

Purrr-ple!

Did you here about the injured pony?

It’s in a stable condition!

What do trumpets and police investigations have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

These toy helicopters are really popular...

They're flying off the shelves!

What do skateboarders do when they're really talented?

They GoPro!

Where do you learn to skate?

At boarding school!

Why did the Olympic villain hate Simone Biles and Sky Brown?

He’d’ve got away with it without those medalling kids!

Where does a spy go to the toilet?

A gents!

A spy dressed as Sherlock Holmes

How do astronomers organize a party? 

They planet!

I can kayak…

Canoe?

How do you identify a dogwood tree?

By its bark!

Which animal is best at basketball?

A score-pion!

After Star Wars, what's Darth Vader's favourite movie?

Vaders of the Lost Ark!

What do dogs have for breakfast?

Pooched eggs!

What does a tiger wear in the winter?

A stripy jumper!