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Card Jokes

You'll need the best poker face ever to not crack a smile at these amazing playing card jokes!

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Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  November 10th 2021

Can you deal with these ri-deck-ulous card jokes? They'll leave you with giggles in spades!

Still looking for the perfect joke? Make sure you check out our awesome joke generator, this epic board game quiz, or for something completely different - check out this bumper pack of hilarious sports jokes!

I saw a list of the top ten card games...

Uno is number 1!

Where do you get a degree in card games?

Unoversity!

I hate card games.

They're so one-sided!

How can you get four suits for under £2?

Buy a deck of cards!

How does Professor Oak play cards?

With his poker decks!

What has 13 hearts but no organs?

A deck of cards!

I was in quarantine with a deck of cards

You could say I was in solitaire confinement!

DJ Khaled was playing cards with a room full of families

And a mother won!

All I got for my birthday was a deck of sticky playing cards

I'm having a hard time dealing with it!

What playing cards are the best dancers?

The King and Queen of clubs!

Why are snakes so good at playing cards?

Because they can never lose a hand!

What's a crocodile's favourite card game?

Snap!

What did the apple write on his Valentine’s card?

You're one in a melon!

Why are wolves like playing cards?

They arrive in packs!

Why did the lion lose at cards?

Because he was playing a cheetah!

What do you call an insect with a pack of cards?

Ant and Deck!

I love Snapchat...

one liner jokes

I could talk about card games all day!

Why does Batman never win at cards?

Because he always gets the Joker!

Why couldn’t the pirates play cards?

The captain was standing on the deck!

Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pack of cards!

I'll deal with you later!