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30 Funny Goose Jokes & Puns for Kids

Have a gander at these down right hilarious goose jokes - they're sure to make you honk with laughter!

Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  February 1st 2023

Are you a fan of these elegant and sometimes slightly aggressive migrating birds? Well don't get in a flap - we've got the best collection of feathered funnies you could ever want!

If you're not much of a bird enthusiast don't worry - we have jokes about pretty much every topic you can possibly imagine! We've got chicken jokes, plant jokes, even shirt jokes! And as always, we've got even more wisecracks over on our main jokes page. Check it out!

Anyway... the goose is loose! Let's crack on with these goose gags!

I just bought a new goose, but it’s massive

It's a humongoose!

What language do Brazilian geese speak?


Hey you! You need to stew goose feathers gently below boiling point!

That’s right - simmer down!

What do you call turbulence while riding a flying goose?

Goose bumps!

What did Mother Goose name her newborn son?

Ryan Gosling!

Petting geese always makes me sad

Because every time I do, I feel a little down

What's a goose's favourite city?

Honk Kong!

Would you like to try some goose?

No thanks, I'm just taking a gander!

How is a flock of geese like an airplane full of encylopedias?

They’re flying in-formation!

The goose said to me, “Quuuaack?” I replied, “Quack, quack”

My brother said, “I didn’t know you speak Portugeese!”

I have a racing goose for sale.

Let me know if you wanna take a quick gander!

Which side of a goose has the most feathers?

The outside!

A goose is composed of 4 elements: Hydrogen, Oxygen, Nitrogen, and Potassium


Other animals: Winter is almost here. What are we supposed to do now?

Goose: Wanna hear migrate idea?

What sound does a Swedish goose make?


What do you get if you cross a goose with a cow?

A mooooose!

I love geese but I can’t speak like them

I'm not allowed to use fowl language!

Why did the police arrest the goose?

They suspected it of fowl play!

What happened to the geese that banged their heads?

They got goose bumps!

I'm taking the goose farmer to the dance...

I heard she knows how to get down!

Geese keep attacking my dog when I take him to the park

Guess that’s what happens with a pure bread dog!

What do you call two ducks who walk like, act like, and believe they are geese?

A paradux!

What does an ancient Egyptian goose say?

Ankh, ankh!

Pyramids in Egypt

The pet shop is giving away male geese for free

I might go take a gander!

What do you call a possessed bird?

A polter-goose!

A ghost floating against a pink background

How do you get down from an elephant?

You don’t, you get down from a goose!

My friend lost all of his birds

He went after them, but it was a wild goose chase!

What kind of clothes are made with Australian goose feathers?

Down Under wear!

Which dessert is the most gullible?

A gooseberry fool!

Doctor, doctor! Grandad just put a LOT of goose fat all over his back

He'll go downhill fast!