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32 Glasses Jokes That'll See You Through The Day

These funny glasses jokes are rated 20/20! Check out these glasses jokes and have a chuckle!

Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  May 31st 2022

Eye guarantee you will laugh out loud at these funny glasses jokes! Check out these glasses gags and SEE which one is your favourite! And if you liked these, why not have a gander at these Ducktales jokes? Or how about these brilliant baseball jokes? You might even be in the mood for these excellent exam jokes! And as usual, there's even more hilarity on our jokes hub!

Why don't phones wear glasses?

They have contacts!

I can't see too well without my glasses

I can't see any other numbers either!

How do you know that carrots are good for your eyes?

Have you ever seen a rabbit in glasses?!

What do you call a potato in glasses?

A spec-tater!

My glasses are made of old ketchup bottles

In Heinz-sight, that was a bad idea.

Have you seen my new glasses?

They're quite the spectacle!

What's a bat's favourite 90's band?


I don't know why people like glasses

I just don't see it!

My only plan today is to pick up my new glasses

Then I'll see what happens!

My earliest memory is getting glasses

Everything before that was a blur!

What do boys wear to hang out with their dads?


Why don't people who wear glasses get sick?

They have nerd immunity!

Why don't rugby players wear glasses?

It's a contact sport!

I always drink juice straight from the bottle

My optician says I don't need glasses!

I've been wearing glasses for a long time

It's hard to see myself without them!

Why are glasses good at maths?

They enjoy di-vision!

I wear glasses for my looks

I can't look at anything without them!

What do you call a short-sighted dinosaur?

A Doyouthinkhesaurus!

Why did the conductor wear glasses?

So he could C#!

Guess who I ran into the other day when I forgot my glasses?


'Doctor, Doctor, I think I need glasses!'

'Yes you do, this is a library!'

I forgot my glasses and fell down a well the other day...

It's annoying I couldn't see that well!

My optician says I need glasses

I don't see why!

My friend broke my glasses on purpose

I could never look at them the same after that!

Did you know you can get money for wearing a face mask and glasses?

You might be entitled to condensation!

What should you wear to do maths?


Why didn't the optometrist want to learn any jokes?

Because he heard they help break the eyes!

I just got a great price on my new glasses

It was eye deal!

What did the optometrist tell the judge when he was in court? 

I rest my case!

Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?

Her students were too bright!

Why are eyes puns not puns?

Because they're optical allusions!

What do you call a pig with three eyes?

A piiig!

Next up - Dentist Jokes