Hockey Jokes
There’s not much to laugh about when it comes to hockey. It’s a deadly serious sport. Only kidding! The Beano can find the funny in any subject (even homework). So if you like a laugh AND taking penalty-corners then this list of scooper-dooper hockey jokes is for YOU!
Get your shin pads (or ice skates depending on what type of hockey you like) on for our hilarious line-up of hockey jokes! And if these hockey jokes don’t (hockey) stick in you mind you can have a chuckle at our striking 35 Funny Football Jokes or try our 20 Funny Rugby Jokes For You To Try!
How does a hockey player protect his legs?
With shinty pads!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/hockey1.jpeg?quality=76&strip=all&w=1024)
What does an ice-hockey player do on a beach holiday?
Wayne Rejetskis!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/icehockey1.jpeg?quality=76&strip=all&w=1024)
Why do stand up comedians play hockey?
They just have their shtick!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/hockey2.jpeg?quality=76&strip=all&w=1024)
How are ice-hockey players paid?
With a massive check!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/ice.jpeg?quality=76&strip=all&w=1024)
Did you hear about the ghostbuster who played hockey?
He is great at blocking ghouls!
![A cat and a ghost](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/pets-ghosts.jpg?quality=76&strip=all&w=1024)
Why was the hockey player arrested and taken to jail?
He shot a goal!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/hockey4.jpeg?quality=76&strip=all&w=1024)
What position would Luke Skywalker play if he was on the Rebel Alliance hockey team?
The X Wing!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/hockey6.jpeg?quality=76&strip=all&w=1024)
What does a hockey forward say on Halloween?
Hat Trick or Treat!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/hockey8.jpeg?quality=76&strip=all&w=1024)
What do you call a rapper playing hockey?
Scoop Dogg!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/Generic4.png?quality=76&strip=all&w=1024)
Why do field hockey players sweat?
They don't have many fans!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/hockey9-2.jpeg?quality=76&strip=all&w=1024)
Which hockey position did the ghost play?
Ghoulie!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/legacy/82220_ghost-ice-cream.jpg?quality=76&strip=all&w=1024)
Why does the ice-hockey rink melt after the game?
All the fans left!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/icehockey1.jpeg?quality=76&strip=all&w=1024)
Where do ice-hockey players get their uniforms?
New Jersey!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/Bicep.jpeg?quality=76&strip=all&w=1024)
Heard about the professional ice hockey player who switched his profession to go into marketing?
He got an off-ice job!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/legacy/34470_desk-job.jpg?quality=76&strip=all&w=724)
Have you seen the ice-hockey player who visited the bank?
He said he wanted to give out some checks!
![A man with a silly amount of cash](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/image-57.png?quality=76&strip=all&w=1024)
What made the short-tempered coach of the hockey team so frustrated when he opened his email?
He had so many forwards!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/hockey11.jpeg?quality=76&strip=all&w=1024)
Why did the hockey player bring an extra pair of shoelaces?
Because she wanted to tie the score!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/Generic.png?quality=76&strip=all&w=1024)
What do a dentist and a hockey coach have in common?
They both use drills!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/hockey7.jpeg?quality=76&strip=all&w=1024)
How do you remember what to hit a hockey ball with?
It just sticks!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/hockey9.jpeg?quality=76&strip=all&w=1024)
What do a dentist and a hockey coach have in common?
They both use painful drills!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/legacy/77566_dentist.jpg?quality=76&strip=all&w=780)
What does a good hockey forward have in common with a magician?
Hat tricks.
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/legacy/77569_magician.jpg?quality=76&strip=all&w=780)
What did the goalie say to the ball?
Catch ya later!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/hockey12.jpeg?quality=76&strip=all&w=1024)
Why couldn't Cinderella be on the field hockey team?
Because she always ran away from the ball!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/princess6.jpeg?quality=76&strip=all&w=1024)
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/Joke_Gen_Image.png)
Check out the Joke Generator!
Do it! Do it now!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/sports-jokes-next-up.jpg?quality=76&strip=all&w=1024)