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40 Funny Rugby Jokes For You To Try

Scrum and get it! Substitute your sadness for some of Beano's giggle-worthy rugby gags!

Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  April 4th 2023

These full-contact rugby jokes are the funniest in the 6 Nations! So if you like giggling at goals or chuckling at crash tackles then we've got your back! And once you're finished here, head up and under to some of our football or sports jokes! Or if you'd rather something totally different, have a wheeze at these hilarious toilet jokes! Might as well, eh?

Ok rugby fans! Let's goooooo!

What did the rugby coach do when the pitch flooded?

He sent on the subs!

What tea do rugby players drink?


I broke my collarbone the other day playing rugby

At least I tried!

How can you tell if a prop is walking, jogging, running or sprinting?

Their expression!

Why are Jedi terrible at rugby?

Because "there is no try"!

Obi Wan and a light saber

Why do rugby fans eat up the sport?

Because it's scrum-ptious!

Why was the rugby player upset on their birthday?

Because they got a red card!

Why don't grasshoppers watch rugby?

They prefer cricket!

What ship holds 12 rugby teams but only one leaves it each season?

The Premier-ship!

I cooked and ate a Rugby ball

Tasted scrummy!

A priest I know has taken up rugby

He’s scored a few tries but hasn’t made any conversions yet!

Why was the tiny ghost recruited to the rugby team?

The coaches wanted a little team spirit!

A ghost floating against a pink background

What’s the difference between Prince William and a rugby ball?

One is the heir to the throne. The other is thrown into the air!

I tried to play bicycle rugby…

But I was two tyred!

The Pencil Rugby Club played the Pen Rugby Club recently

It ended up as a draw!

I went to watch the Wasps last week. They were ok

But I've heard they've got no bee team!

I had a go at rugby the other day. I thought I was doing really well...

But everyone just kept saying "nice try"!

Where's the best place to shop for new rugby kit?

New Jersey!

How many American rugby fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

Both of them!

What do you call people who hang around with rugby players?


What's the difference between the Scottish Rugby team and a teabag?

A teabag stays in the cup longer!

Why couldn’t Cinderella play rugby?

She kept running away from the ball!

What do you get if you cross rugby and the invisible man?

Rugby like no one has ever seen!

Which Star Wars character is best at rugby?

Darth Maul!

Who is a rugby players favourite teacher?

Miss Pass!

I tried to cycle to rugby training...

But I was two tyred!

A friend of mine only goes to watch rugby to play pranks on people.

He likes Twickenham!

These new rugby matches in space will never take off.

There's just no atmosphere!

If you have a referee in rugby, what do you have in bowls?


A friend of mine is a scrum half but will never make it as a senior member of the legal profession...

He's far too quick to judge!

Went to a rugby referee’s retirement recently...

It was a good send off!

Local team of ghosts have taken up rugby.

They are excellent at scoring drop ghouls!

I went to the local rugby stadium and it was really cool inside...

It must have been all the fans!

Why did the rugby player go to see a vet?

His calves were sore!

What insect lives in your mats and is good at scoring tries?

The rug bee!

I went to watch the English Wasps play the other day...

They were alright but I hear they've got no bee team!

Once you’ve seen one rugby joke...

You've seen a maul!

As a Brit, I can't get into American football...

They rugby the wrong way!

What do you call Luke, Leia, Han, Chewie and the rest of The Rebellion at the beginning of a rugby match?

Rebel scrum!

They've invented a new version of rugby where only people who wear glasses can play it...

It's a non-contact sport!

Pug holding pizza, laughing at food jokes