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Beano Comic

20 Horse Racing Jokes to Enjoy on the Hoof!

These punny horse racing jokes are perfect for everyone who loves a good joke-y! Check them out and see which one is your favourite!

Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  March 25th 2024

Share these funny horse racing jokes with your friends and neigh-bours! Which of them is your favourite? And if you liked these, how about these egg-sellent chicken jokes? Or maybe you'd prefer these brilliant ballet jokes? You might even like the look of these terrible toilet jokes! And of course, there's hundreds more excellent jokes at our main jokes station!

Why couldn't the pony explain why he was last in the race?

He was a little horse!

Why shouldn't you be rude to a jockey?

In case they take a fence!

How do you know if your racehorse is going to come in late?

It tiptoes very quietly!

What's funny and rides horses?

A jokey!

What do horses get in the summer?

Hay fever!

What do you call a horse that can't lose a race?


What wins races and scares people?

Night mares!

When does a racehorse talk?

Whinny wants to!

Why don't horses use android phones?

They prefer apples!

Why are race horses so gossipy?

They like to stirrup trouble!

What do race horses eat?

Thorough bread!

Why should you always put your money on horses that jump high?

So you can hedge your bets!

What happens if you find a horseshoe on the ground?

There's a horse out there with only three shoes and a sock!

What's a horse's favourite show?


How do you make a small fortune from horse racing?

Start with a large fortune!

A horse walks into a bar. 'Hey!' says the bartender

'Yes please!' says the horse

How do you know if a racehorse has good breeding?

It always says please and thank you!

Where do jockeys go when they're sick?

The horse-pital!

What's black and white and can race horses?

A zebra!

What noise does a horse ambulance make?

Neig-naw neigh-naw neigh-naw!