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30 Lizard Jokes and Puns for Kids

Check out these funny lizard jokes - you will newt believe how funny they are!

Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:Β  January 17th 2023

These funny lizard jokes are sure to put a smile on your face right from the gecko! And if you liked these, check out more animal jokes here! How about these silly salmon jokes? Or maybe you fancy some hilarious hamster jokes? We've even got these punny peacock jokes! And as always, there's literally hundreds more lols and laughs on our main jokes hub!

What do you call someone who goes after lizards?

A cold blooded killer!

What do you call a lizard who tells jokes?

A stand up chameleon!

Where does a lizard go when it needs a new tail?

The retail store!

How do you weigh a lizard?

With its scales!

What do you call an lizard that likes water?

An aguana!

What do you call a lizard who says mean things about you?

A slandermander!

When are you going to take your lizard for a walk?

I'm goanna do it soon!

What's Boy George's favourite type of lizard?

A karma chameleon!

How do lizards decorate their bathrooms?

With rep-tile!

This joke about imaginary lizards is so boring...

So I don't want to let it dragon!

What do you call a female reptile?


What do you call a multi-coloured lizard?

A dye-saur!

What did the mum lizard say to the baby lizard?

Close your mouth, you're catching flies!

What did one lizard say to another?

You're one in chameleon!

Who's a reptile's favourite singer?


What do you call a snake on a rollerskate?

An aspiring lizard!

What do you call a lizard who also looks after children?

A baby monitor!

What do you get if you cross a lizard and a wizard?

A salamancer!

Have you heard the story about the lizard?

It's a pretty long tail!

Have you heard the latest lizard headlines?

Well, there's some good newts and some bad newts!

Why should you take your lizard to the vet?

To get them newt-ered!

Why do I call my lizard Tiny?

He's my newt!

How many witches does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one, but she'll change it into a newt!

What did one zookeeper say to another?

Axolotl lizards you got there!

What do you call a lizard covered in leaves?

A salad-mander!

A man walks into a pet shop and asks 'Do you have any chameleons?'

The shopkeeper says 'I'm not sure...'

Why did Boy George take his aggressive lizard back to the pet shop?

He wanted a calmer chameleon!

I'm always the first one with a lizard pun

Right from the gecko

What do you call a gecko covered in snow?

A b-lizard!

Why can chameleons be difficult?

They're so changeable!