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Lobster Jokes

Get your claws into these shell-airiously funny lobster gags!

Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  July 1st 2021

Feeling crabby? We'll soon sea about that with this clawsome collection of crustacean wise-cracks!

STILL need more jokes? Check out our amazing Joke Generator, or maybe take a look at some of our other joke pages. We've got cat jokes, dad jokes, even sarcastic jokes!

What did the lobster cowboy say?


I've not seen my pet lobster in months...

I'm afraid it's a lost claws!

Why did the lobster cross the road?

To get to the other tide!

How do lobsters answer the phone?


Where does a lobster keep it’s clothes?

In it's claw-set!

Where do crabs and lobsters catch their trains?

Cry laughing pizza

Kings Crustation!

Did you hear about the lobster that rode a sea mammal into battle?

He did it on porpoise!

Why was the ocean screaming?

You would too if you had lobsters on your bottom!

What do lobsters drink in the morning?


What do you call a lobster that’s afraid of tight spaces?


Did you hear about the lobster that went to the party?

It pulled a mussel!

What do you call an annoyed lobster?

A frustacean!

What part of the bread factory would lobsters work in?

A grinning sandwich with cheese, tomato and lettuce inside

The crust station!

Who gives lobsters their Christmas presents?

Smiling red Christmas present with a green ribbon wrapped around it

Santa Claws!

Why don't lobsters share?

Because they're shellfish!

Excuse me waiter, do you have a lobster tail?

"Of course! Once upon a time there was a lobster called Larry..."

Where do lobsters park their public transport vehicles?

At the bustacean!

What do you call a crab that throws things gently up in the air?

It's not a crab, it's a lobster!

I went to a Mary Poppins themed restaurant last night...

Super cauliflower cheese but the lobster was atrocious!

Why did the lobster giggle?

Because the sea weed!

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