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20 Mary Earps Jokes To Save The Day

What did Mary Earps say when she tripped over a chicken? Find out with this legendary list of football jokes! It's the best on (or hopefully out of) the net!

Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  December 3rd 2023

Nothing gets past Mary Earps! She's the pride of the Lionesses and is the woman who stands between England and footy disaster! So in honour of our favourite goalie we've made up this list of chortle-worthy Mary Earps jokes! Fun for every footy fan - just watch that top left corner!

Ready to take a punt on these Mary Earps jokes? Women's football has never been funnier! Back of the net!

After some more premiere puns? Check out our raucous list of Ronaldo jokes, these mirthful Messi gags, or for something completely different give these American football wisecracks a try!

Why would you show off Mary Earps to your parents?

Because she's a keeper!

Why does Mary Earps spend ages on the Internet?

Because she can't stop saving her work!

Why is the Son of God replacing Mary Earps?

Because Jesus saves!

Why is Mary Earps a better goalkeeper than Cinderella?

Because she doesn’t run away from the ball!

Mary Earp’s dad is 60 years old and scores 3 goals a game

They call him Jerry-hat-trick!

Mary Earps thinks a German goalkeeper is whispering in his ear

It's a little bit of paraNeuer!

Why is Mary Earps the richest player on the squad?

She's great at saving!

You shouldn't trust Mary Earps

She's never upfront with you!

Did you hear Mary Earps likes philosophy?

Her nickname is Soccertes!

Spelling is important when you're a goalkeeper

Get it wrong and Mary Earps is in gaol!

What did Mary Earps say when she tripped over a chicken?


Why was Mary Earps upset on her birthday?

She got a red card!

What is Mary Earp’s favourite snack?

Beans on post!

What did Mary Earps dress up as at Halloween?

A ghoulkeeper!

What doesn't Mary Earps like coffee?

She prefers penal-tea!

How does Mary Earps stay cool during a game?

She stands near the fans!

The England match was cancelled due to rain and snow

Both teams got a precipitation trophy!

Why doesn’t Mary Earps like playing football against big cats?

She doesn’t like cheetahs!

A cheetah on a badminton court

When is Mary Earps like a judge?

When she sits on the bench!

Why did Mary Earps do so well at school?

She used her head!