20 Onion Jokes That Will Have You Crying With Laughter!
These onion gags are so funny they'll bring a tear to your eye! Check 'em out!
Do these onion jokes leave a funny taste in your mouth? Don't get in a pickle - try out these food jokes, broccoli jokes, or even these Minecraft jokes! You know, for something a bit less veg-y.
Or... take our Joke Generator for a whirl and pick a gag at random! We've got more jokes than anybody could ever want, ever! Phew!
Where did the onion find his family history?
In the archives!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/thimb.jpg?quality=76&strip=all&w=1024)
What do you call an onion that won’t hold water?
A leek!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/3-3.jpg?quality=76&strip=all&w=1024)
What do you call a word that sounds like an onion?
An oniomatopoeia!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/4.jpg?quality=76&strip=all&w=1024)
How do you propose to an onion?
With an onion ring!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/3-2.jpg?quality=76&strip=all&w=1024)
Doctor Doctor I have an onion stuck in my nose!
You need start eating more sensibly!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/1-4.jpg?quality=76&strip=all&w=1024)
What do you call a Hobbit with a healthy appetite?
Lord of the Onion Rings!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/radish.jpg?w=1024)
What did Gandalf say when an onion tried to cross the bridge?
You shallot pass!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/2-3.jpg?quality=76&strip=all&w=1024)
Why do onions lock their doors when they study?
To make sure they're onionterrupted!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/1-3.jpg?quality=76&strip=all&w=1024)
Is that an onion singing a Bee Gees song?
Nope - it's just chive talking!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/16.jpg?quality=76&strip=all&w=1024)
What did the spring onions call their hip hop band?
The Little Rap Scallions!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/springpreview.png?quality=76&strip=all&w=1024)
What do you call a pogo stick made of veg?
A spring onion!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/legacy/70833_8.jpg)
What's small, round, and giggles a lot?
A tickled onion!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/legacy/70826_Generic6.png)
I asked my nurse if she had something for my liver...
She gave me a bag of onions!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/legacy/69284_misc2.jpg)
What's white on the outside, green on the inside and comes with relish and onions?
A hot frog!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/legacy/56211_gen46.jpg)
What do you get if you eat beans with onions?
Teargas!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/onion.jpg?w=1024)
A chef asked me to check the balance of the chilli and onion in a soup...
…so I pushed it over!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/legacy/47182_624_onionhelp.jpg)
Why was princess Fiona so bad at basketball?
Because she had an onion for a coach!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/legacy/43256_Shrek3.png)
What did Shrek propose to Fiona with?
An onion ring!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/legacy/43282_gen11.jpg)
What do you call an onion’s more fun cousin?
Funions!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/misc-3.jpg)
What do hedgehogs eat?
Prickled onions!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/legacy/80491_hedgehog16.jpg)
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/Joke_Gen_Image.png)
Looking for the funnies?
Click here for the Great Joke Generator!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/next-up-animal-jokes-1.jpg)