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Beano Comic

20 Socktacular Sock Jokes!

Who knew something you put on everyday could be so funny? These jokes will blow your socks clean off!

Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  April 29th 2024

Ready to laugh your socks off? These jokes will do it! Read on for the best sock-based jokes and puns - and stick around for more jokes when you're done! Have a wry chuckle at these dry humour jokes, or get theatrical with these pantomime jokes!

When do you know it’s time to buy new socks?

When you can tell if a coin is head or tails just by standing on it!

What did the sock say to the glove?

“You look like you could use a hand!”

What’s a pirate’s favourite sock pattern?


Which actor was cast in the new film “Shoemanji”

Dwayne “The Sock” Johnson!

Where do rich socks work?

The Sock Exchange!

Why are the Scouts just like new socks?

They’re always pre-paired!

How many inches can you fit into a sock?

Only twelve, that’s a foot!

Why was the sock so happy to get married?

He’d found his sole-mate!

Why do grooms always wear socks to their wedding?

In case they get cold feet!

Why did the sock attend church regularly?

Because it was so holy!

“Why are you wearing one red sock and one purple sock?”

“I’m not sure, but I have another pair just like it at home!”

My friend wouldn’t shut up about what he was going to do with his new spare drawer…

I told him to put a sock in it!

What did one sock say to the other in the dryer?

“I’ll see you the next time around!”

Why did the pair of socks break up?

One of them always had to be right, and so the other left!

Who is the most famous philosopher of footwear?


Why do golfers always bring a spare pair of socks?

In case they get a hole in one!

How do socks feel at the end of the day?


What did the hat say to the sock?

“You go on ahead, I’ll follow on foot!”

What do you call a bear with no socks on?

Bear foot!

Why should you always buy socks with holes in them?

How else are you supposed to put them on?