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20 Perfectly Punny Pantomime Jokes!

Are these perfectly punny pantomime jokes guaranteed to make you laugh? Oh, yes they are!

Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  March 2nd 2024

Look out behind you - it's our top 20 pantomime jokes and puns! These are the gags that prove fairytales can be funny - and that a pantomime horse always livens things up! Don't forget to check out our other jokes too - how about some dance jokes, or some musical merriment?

Why did Widow Twankey quit her job as a laundress?

It was de-pressing!

What side of Jack’s house did the beanstalk grow?

The outside!

How did Jack know how many beans Bessie was worth?

He used a cowculator!

What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when he worked as a pantomime horse?

“I’ll be back.”

What’s beautiful, grey and wears glass slippers?


What pantomime do fishes go to see?


Who’s the best character in Finderella?

Her fairy codmother!

What’s the scariest pantomime?

Ghouldilocks and the Three Bears!

Why is a pantomime often just called a panto?

Because the mime is silent!

What do ghosts go to see at Christmas?

A phantomime!

Why was Cinderella such a terrible footballer?

She kept running away from the ball!

Why does Snow White make such a good judge?

Because she’s the fairest of them all!

What kind of dog does the genie own?

A labracadabrador!

A pantomime actor kept falling through the floor during the performance…

I think it was a stage he was going through!

What did the librarian say when I asked for a book on pantomimes?

“It’s behind you!”

What do flowers go to see at Christmas?

A plantomime!

A pantomime horse walks into a bar. The barman says, “Would you like a pint?”

The horse says, “No, two halves!”

Why did the front half of the pantomime horse leave his job?

He wanted to quit while he was ahead!

Why did Jack’s cow have a bell around her neck?

Because her horns didn’t work!

Why did Robin Hood steal from the rich?

Because the poor didn’t have anything!