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20 Health and Safety Jokes That Are Dangerously Funny!

These health and safety jokes will having you falling off your chair with laughter! Pop on your goggles, check them out & share them responsibly! Safety first!

Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  June 30th 2024

Health and safety - it's not joke! Except right now with these 20 health and safety jokes that are so funny they're a hazard! Check them out and don't slip up! Like these? How about some classic grandpa jokes? Or maybe you fancy these cracking bum jokes? And we reckon you'll love these hair-larious hair jokes! And of course, if none of those tickled your funny bones, we've got hundreds more on our main jokes hub!

Why should you be more careful in the Autumn?

It's time for fall!

What do spies to at work?

Stealth and safety!

I fell off a ladder at work but I can't sue...

I don't have a leg to stand on!

How do the elves clean Santa's workshop?

With Santa-tizer!

What came first, the chicken or the egg?


Have you heard the health and safety joke?

There isn't one - health and safety is NO JOKE!

Did you hear about the explosion at the cheese factory?

Da brie was everywhere!

What do rich people practise at work?

Wealth and safety!

Why are Germans so hygienic at work?

They always wash their Hans!

They say it's unlucky to walk under a ladder...

But not as unlucky as falling off one!

Did you hear about the health and safety rules at the present wrapping factory?

Too much red tape!

Did you hear about the health and safety officers who are going out?

They really fell for each other!

How do book sellers avoid accidents at work?

Shelf and safety!

Did you hear about the flood at the vegetable factory?

There was a leek!

Which water park ride do health and safety officers avoid?

The slip n' slide!

I ran into a lamppost yesterday..

Don't worry, I only got light injuries!

Why did the doctor say 'aww' when I hurt myself at work?

It was acute trauma!

What do you call it when ghosts get injured?

A boo-boo!

What happens if you get hurt down the pit?

It'll just be a miner injury!

Did you hear about the orchestra who got hurt?

Don't worry, there was only A-minor injury!