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Toad Jokes

Like Toads? Then take a wart on the wild side with our Toadally hilarious Toad Jokes!

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Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  October 12th 2021

Looking for more stuff like this? Check out these epic frog jokes, this UNBELIEVABLY long list of crazy animal jokes, or even these weird animal facts

Or for even more jokes (unless you’re toadally laughed out?) - have a look at our main jokes page! And don't forget to try our our amazing Joke Generator!

What goes dot dot croak…

Morse Toad

What does a toad do before bed…

Have a nice cup of croako

What’s the difference between a toad squashed on the road and a middle-aged man with a ukulele?

There’s a tiny chance the toad was on it’s way to play a gig!

How did the toad cross the channel?

On a hoppercraft!

Man: What’s a toad doing watching a Harry Potter movie?

Toad: I liked the book!

What does a toad have in its croako

Marshmallows!

What’s does a toad listen to on its iBuds

Hiphop!

How does a toad look at tiktok?

iPad quiz

On its lily iPad!

What did the scientist create when she crossed a toad and and a dog?

A Croaker Spaniel!

What sport do toads play?

A cricket bat and ball

Croakit

What did the bus driver say to the toad?

Hop in!

What’s a toads opening chess gambit?

It moves its spawn!

What do toads drink?

Croak-a-crola

What do you call a woman with a toad on her head?

A pet toad

Lily

You know you Toad me to do my chores?

I frogot!

What does a toad wear on it’s feet?

Open toad sandals!

I find your conversation

Absolutely ribbeting

I’m a funny amphibian…

So I’ve been toad!

Actually Toads have more lives than cats…

They croak every night!

What do you get if you cross a galaxy with a toad?

Star Warts!

What do toads drink on a hot summer days?

summer jokes

Ice cold croak-a-cola!

What do you get if cross a science fiction film with a toad?

Star Warts!

How does Kermit greet his toad friend?

"Wart's up?"

Where did Mario's Kart go when he parked in the wrong place?

It got toad!

What’s warty and hangs from the ceiling at Christmas?

Mistel-toad

What do you get if you cross Darth Vader with a toad?

Star Warts!

What goes dot-dash-ribbit?

A morse-toad

What happened when the frog's car broke down?

It got toad away!

What do frogs love about Christmas?

Mistle-toad