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49 Funny Valentine's Day Jokes You Will Love

Funny Valentine's Day jokes to give you inspiration for those Valentine's Day cards!

Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  February 1st 2023

Valentine's Day is a holiday which is celebrated on February 14th. Named after a third century Roman saint, it's a time dedicated to expressing love and affection.

It's traditionally a time for couples to show their love for one another through nice gestures like giving flowers, chocolates, or really soppy cards. Remember, you don't have to buy a card – a homemade card will be appreciated even more!

In some countries, Valentine's Day is also a time for couples to express their love for one another through acts of kindness and service. For many people, the day is an time to reflect on relationships, to celebrate the bonds that bring people together, and to remember the importance of love in all its forms. And sometimes that means it's an excuse to go to a restaurant, the cinema or just getting a takeaway and watching a fun film!

And when it comes to Valentine's Day, we've got absolutely tons of jokes here at Beano! You could use these in your card(s!) for extra comedy points. Or you could check out these un-romantic Valentine's poems When you're done here, check out our Valentine's Day trivia quiz, a true or false test, or even a special quiz to help you decide how to spend Valentine's Day.

Whatever you do, remember to keep the laughs coming with our Joke Generator. Maybe even try some love or dance jokes!

Corny Valentine's Day Jokes!

1. Did you hear about the octopuses that were in love?
They went about arm in arm in arm in arm!

2. What do giraffes love in springtime?

3. What did the strawberry say to the raspberry?
'I love you berry much!'

4. 1 and 2 fell in love.
2 said, you're the only one for me!

5. What did the prince say to Ariel?
We were mermaid for each other!

6. Why did bread break up with margarine?
For a butter love!

7. 2 blood cells met and fell in love...
Alas, it was all in vein!

8. Which day is the worst to propose on?
April Fools' Day!

9. Carbon and hydrogen went on a date.
I heard they really bonded!

10. How do you know if two slimes are in love?
They're practically glued together!

11. Why did the robot marry his partner?
He couldn't resistor!

12. What does a heartbroken LEGO person say?
I'm falling to pieces!

Valentine's Day Dad Jokes!

13. What do two LEGO people in love say?
Never LEGO!

14. How do you propose with a helium balloon?
You pop the question!

15. What's the best part of a bee relationship?
The HONEYmoon period!

16. Two television aerials met on a roof, fell in love an got married.
The ceremony wasn’t great but the reception was fantastic!

17. I thought I got a Valentine's Day card from a football referee...
But it was a red card!

18. Why should you never marry a tennis player?
Because, to them, love means nothing!

19. What do squirrels give each other on Valentine's Day?

20. What happened when the candle went dating?
It found the perfect match!

21. What did one light bulb say to the other light bulb on Valentine’s Day?
I love you watts and watts!

22. What did the caveman give his Valentine?
Ugs and kisses!

23. What do you call a small Valentine's Day card?
A Valen-tiny!

24. What do farmers give their partners on Valentine's Day?
Hogs and kisses!

A heart shaped piece of card being dropped into a piggy bank slot

Silly Valentine's Day Jokes!

25. This Valentine's Day I expect to be inundated!
Sorry, I meant: in, undated!

26. What did one pig say to the other on Valentine's Day?
Don't go bacon my heart!

27. What happened when the TV aerials got married?
They had a great reception!

28. Why don't people get married in igloos?
In case they get cold feet!

29. Why do oars go on dates?
They're looking for row-mance!

30. Who did Dracula go on a date with?
His ghoul-friend!

31. Why did the magnet go on lots of dates?
He was very attractive!

32. Why did the boa constrictors get married?
They had a crush on each other!

33. What do you call two birds in love?

34. Do you have a date for Valentine's Day?
Yeah, it's February 14!

35. When is Valentine’s Day?
Every year!

36. What did one elephant say to the other on Valentine’s Day?
I love you a ton!

Hilarious Valentine's Day Jokes!

37. What does an owl sign their Valentine’s Day card?
Owl be yours!

38. Why did the apple go out with the raisin?
It couldn’t get a date!

39. Why should you always date a goalie?
They’re a keeper!

40. What did the couple say after they were hit by Cupid's arrow?

42. Why did the skeletons break up on Valentine's Day?
Their hearts weren’t in it!

43. How did the bat couple spend Valentine’s Day?
Hanging out together!

44. What romantic message can you find in a jar of honey?
Bee mine!

45. How can you tell if a calendar is popular?
It always has a date!

46. Did you hear about the two boats who fell in love?
It was a beautiful row-mance!

47. What did the cook give to his wife on Valentine’s Day?
A big quiche!

48. How did the telephone salesperson propose to their girlfriend?
They gave them a ring!

49. How did the baker surprise their partner on Valentine’s Day?
They gave them a bunch of flours!