Valentine's Day Jokes

Funny Valentine's Day jokes to give you inspiration for those Valentine's Day cards!

We've got tons of jokes here at Beano! Use these in your Valentine's Day Card(s!) for extra comedy points. When you're done here, keep the laughs coming with our Joke Generator. Maybe even try some love or dance jokes!

Carbon and hydrogen went on a date.

I heard they really bonded!

Why did the robot marry his partner?

He couldn't resistor!

What does a heartbroken LEGO person say?

I'm falling to pieces!

What do two LEGO people in love say?

Never LEGO!

How do you propose with a helium balloon?

You pop the question!

What's the best part of a bee relationship?

The HONEYmoon period!

Why should you never break up with a footballer?

Because they're keepers!

Why should you never marry a tennis player?

Because, to them, love means nothing!

What do squirrels give each other on Valentine's Day?

Forget-me-nuts!

What happened when the candle went dating?

It found the perfect match!

What did one light bulb say to the other light bulb on Valentine’s Day?

I love you watts and watts!

What did the caveman give his Valentine?

Ugs and kisses!

What do you call a small Valentine's Day card?

A Valen-tiny!

What do farmers give their partners on Valentine's Day?

Hogs and kisses!

This Valentine's Day I expect to be inundated!

Sorry, I meant: in, undated!

What did one pig say to the other on Valentine's Day?

Don't go bacon my heart!

Who did Dracula go on a date with?

His ghoul-friend!

What do you call two birds in love?

Tweethearts!

Knock, knock! Who's there? Al. Al who?

Al give you a kiss if you open the door!

Why do boats go on dates?

They're looking for row-mance!

Why did the magnet go on lots of dates?

He was very attractive!

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