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28 Funny Valentine's Day Jokes You Will Love

Funny Valentine's Day jokes to give you inspiration for those Valentine's Day cards!

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Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  February 11th 2022

We've got absolutely tons of jokes here at Beano! Use these in your Valentine's Day Card(s!) for extra comedy points. When you're done here, keep the laughs coming with our Joke Generator. Maybe even try some love or dance jokes!

Did you hear about the octopuses that were in love?

They went about arm in arm in arm in arm

Two laughing octopuses

What do giraffes love in springtime?

Giraffodils!

Laughing crying emoji face

What did the strawberry say to the rapsberry?

'I love you berry much!'

A laughing ginger cat

1 and 2 fell in love.

2 said, you're the only one for me!

number jokes

What did the prince say to Ariel?

We were mermaid for each other!

mermaid jokes

Why did bread break up with margerine?

For a butter love!

bread jokes

2 blood cells met and fell in love...

Alas, it was all in vein!

Biology jokes

Which day is the worst to propose on?

April Fools' Day!

April fools jokes

Carbon and hydrogen went on a date.

I heard they really bonded!

How do you know if two slimes are in love?

They're practically glued together!

Three chattering joke teeth

Why did the robot marry his partner?

He couldn't resistor!

What does a heartbroken LEGO person say?

I'm falling to pieces!

What do two LEGO people in love say?

Never LEGO!

How do you propose with a helium balloon?

You pop the question!

What's the best part of a bee relationship?

The HONEYmoon period!

Two television aerials met on a roof, fell in love an got married.

The ceremony wasn’t great but the reception was fantastic!

Three laughing emojis in front of a blue background

Knock, knock! Who's there? Al. Al who?

Al give you a kiss if you open the door!

knock knock jokes

Why should you never break up with a footballer?

Because they're keepers!

Why should you never marry a tennis player?

Because, to them, love means nothing!

What do squirrels give each other on Valentine's Day?

Forget-me-nuts!

What happened when the candle went dating?

It found the perfect match!

What did one light bulb say to the other light bulb on Valentine’s Day?

I love you watts and watts!

What did the caveman give his Valentine?

Ugs and kisses!

What do you call a small Valentine's Day card?

A Valen-tiny!

What do farmers give their partners on Valentine's Day?

Hogs and kisses!

This Valentine's Day I expect to be inundated!

Sorry, I meant: in, undated!

What did one pig say to the other on Valentine's Day?

Don't go bacon my heart!

What happened when the TV aerials got married?

They had a great reception!

funny jokes

Why don't people get married in igloos?

In case they get cold feet!

funny jokes

Why do boats go on dates?

They're looking for row-mance!

funny jokes

Who did Dracula go on a date with?

His ghoul-friend!

Why did the magnet go on lots of dates?

He was very attractive!

Why did jokes

Why did the boa constrictors get married?

They had a crush on each other!

Why did jokes

What do you call two birds in love?

Tweethearts!