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Watermelon Jokes

You’d be out of your rind to not grab a slice of these fruity funnies!

Looking for some funny watermelon jokes? You’re in the right place! Or maybe you’d prefer these other food jokes? We’ve got strawberry jokes, avocado jokes – even tomato jokes!

And don’t forget to check out our main jokes page for our random joke generator!

How did the watermelon farmer feel after winning the lottery?

Red tractor and a brown cow

Like a melon bucks!

What do you get if you slice a watermelon into 4 pieces?

A quarter-melon!

What’s a postman’s favourite fruit?

Water-mail-on!

What do trains and bicycles have in common?

You can’t get watermelon juice out of either of them!

Why did the cantaloupe jump into the pool?

Because she wanted to be a watermelon!

How do you get water into a watermelon?

You plant it…in the spring!

Watermelon is 50% water

The other 50% is melon!

Why did the watermelons ask for permission to get married?

Because they canteloupe!

What do you call a Mailman who only delivers watermelon?

Post Melone!

What do you have left after a pig eats a watermelon?

Pork rinds!

Why are watermelons the saddest fruit?

They’re melon-choly!

Why are watermelons so good at gossiping?

They have all the juice!

Why do watermelons take such a long time to make decisions?

They’re always melon it over!

What do you call a type of fruit that robs banks?

A waterfelon!

What do you call a dog that herds watermelons?

A melon collie!

When do you go at red and stop at green?

When you’re eating watermelon!

Did you hear about the guy who smashed up loads of fruits?

It was a slaughter melon!

Did you hear about the watermelon who starred in Eastenders?

They were so melon-dramatic!

What did the apple write on his Valentine’s card?

You’re one in a melon!

What do you get when you cross a watermelon with broccoli?

A melon-coli snack!