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Tomato Jokes

Laugh ’til you’re red in the face with these hilarious tomato jokes!

You’ll love these tomato gags! If not we’ve got plenty of other food jokes – check out these broccoli jokes, onion jokes, and even lettuce jokes! Who ever thought there’d be anything funny about lettuce?

You can always find more funnies on our main jokes page – and have a go on our epic Joke Generator!

If I were a farmer, how would I measure my height?

Grinning cauliflower

From my head tomatoes!

What do tomatoes and potatoes have in common?

Two cry laughing sloths

Toes!

Why are tomatoes round and red?

Because if they were long and yellow they’d be bananas!

What’s red and square? 

An uncool tomato!

What’s the worst thing about salsa dancing?

Getting the tomato stains out afterwards!

I like to put basil in my tomato soup

It’s simply soup-herb!

How do you stop a rotten tomato from smelling?

You pinch its nose!

What do you call a potato who pretends to be a tomato?

An imitater!

What looks like half a tomato?

The other half!

I used to wash in tomato ketchup…

In Heinz-sight, it wasn’t a very good idea!

What type of tomato smells the best?

A Roma!

What’s red and invisible?

No tomatoes!

What’s red and goes up down up down?

A tomato in a lift!

What happened when the tomato fell behind on his homework?

He had to ketchup!

Why did the tomato go out with a prune?

Because he couldn’t find a date!

Vegetable puns make me feel good.

From my head tomatoes!

What did the mother tomato say to the baby tomato?

mother's day

Ketchup!

How do you fix a broken pizza?

With tomato paste!

What did the pasta say to the tomato?

Don’t get saucy with me!

Did you hear about the salad race?

The lettuce was ahead and the tomato tried to ketchup!

Why did the tomato blush?

Because it saw the salad dressing!

What do boats eat with a spoon?

Tomato sloop!