30 Wood Jokes That Are Acorn-y In A Good Way
Looking for some lumber-ful lols? You'll be pining for more once you see these tree-mendously funny wood jokes!
After some laughs? Sometimes you can't see the wood jokes for the trees! Spruce yourself up with these timber-tastic wood wisecracks! Read on for jokes about planks, twigs, logs and much more! If you prefer your jokes a little less... well, woody - then you're in the right place! We have jokes about every possible topic, from whales, to big noses, to time travel and even hot cross buns! Deee-licious!
Right, ready to have a laugh at these wood jokes? Or are you barking up the wrong tree?
I was going to make up a joke about carpentry
But I can’t think of any that wood work!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/wood-3.jpg?w=1024)
Delighted to have beaten my mate in a wood cutting competition
He’s a saw loser!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/saw.jpeg?w=1024)
What is an acorn?
It's an oak tree, in a nutshell!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/squirrel-blush.jpg?w=1024)
What was the oak's favorite subject at wood school?
Chemistree!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/wood-4.jpg?w=1024)
I have three dogs named Oak, Palm and Maple
Don't be scared of them... They're all bark but no bite!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/dog-joke-pug-1.png?w=1024)
What do you call an oak tree that can't make it's mind up?
Undeciduous!
![Tree Jokes](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/legacy/70234_tree.jpg?w=800)
What's the difference between an oak tree and a tight shoe?
One makes acorns, the other makes corns ache!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/trainer-shoelace.jpeg?w=1024)
As I child I was forced to walk the plank
We couldn't afford a dog!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/legacy/74889_pirate.jpg?w=1024)
I need hobbies and not just different types of wood
I need to branch out!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/wood-1-1.jpg?w=1024)
What type of wood do pigs like the most?
Mahogany!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/pig-pizza.jpg?w=1024)
What do you call a piece of wood with absolutely nothing to do?
Bored!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/goose-6.jpg?w=1024)
I need to learn more about wood
Can I axe you a question about it?
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/axe-2.jpeg?w=1024)
How do you make wood laugh?
By telling acorn-y jokes!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/stick.jpg?w=1024)
Did you hear about the wooden action heroes?
They’re called the Tree Musketeers!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/groot.jpg?w=1024)
What does wood dress up as for Halloween?
Bam-boo!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/panda-thumb.jpg?w=1024)
How do pieces of wood access the internet?
They log in!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/14-log.jpg?w=1024)
Did you hear the joke about the lumberjack, The sheep and the goat?
I wood tell ewe, but it’s a baaaaaad joke!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/sheep.jpg?w=1024)
How long have you been chopping wood for?
Not sure. Let me check the logs!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/log.jpg?w=1024)
Why shouldn’t you trust trees?
They’re all kinda shady!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/Generic10.png?w=1024)
I finally realized why trees don’t have teeth
Turns out, they’re all bark and no bite!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/05/tree.jpg?w=1024)
Do trees poop?
Of course. Where do you think #2 pencils come from?
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/poo.jpg?w=1024)
I scared a friend with a bit of ancient wood
They were petrified!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/dinosaur-quiz-8.jpg?w=1024)
Wood fired pizza?
How’s pizza gonna get a job now?
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/Nacho-cheese.png?w=1024)
What did the rabbit say to the piece of wood?
It was nice gnawing you!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/05/rabbit.jpg?w=1024)
Boss told me to glue 2 pieces of wood together
Totally nailed it!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/06/plank-wood.jpeg?w=1024)
When is a king like a piece of wood?
When it’s a ruler!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/crown.jpg?w=1024)
Whenever I get stressed out I cut shapes out of wood with my jigsaw...
It's a great coping mechanism!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/chainsaw-2.jpeg?w=1024)
What is life like for a wood worm?
Boring!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/j20.jpg?w=1024)
How did the tree ask out his crush?
Wood you like to go out with me?
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/acorn.jpg?w=1024)
What's a beaver's favourite food?
Wood chips!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/9-6.png?quality=76&strip=all&w=1024)
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/JOKE-GEN-7.webp)
Want More Gags?
Check Out the Great Joke Generator!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/Next-up-cat-jokes-1.jpg?w=1024)