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30 Wood Jokes That Are Acorn-y In A Good Way

Looking for some lumber-ful lols? You'll be pining for more once you see these tree-mendously funny wood jokes!

Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  June 13th 2023

After some laughs? Sometimes you can't see the wood jokes for the trees! Spruce yourself up with these timber-tastic wood wisecracks! Read on for jokes about planks, twigs, logs and much more! If you prefer your jokes a little less... well, woody - then you're in the right place! We have jokes about every possible topic, from whales, to big noses, to time travel and even hot cross buns! Deee-licious!

Right, ready to have a laugh at these wood jokes? Or are you barking up the wrong tree?

I was going to make up a joke about carpentry

But I can’t think of any that wood work!

Delighted to have beaten my mate in a wood cutting competition

He’s a saw loser!

What is an acorn?

It's an oak tree, in a nutshell!

What was the oak's favorite subject at wood school?


I have three dogs named Oak, Palm and Maple

Don't be scared of them... They're all bark but no bite!

What do you call an oak tree that can't make it's mind up?


Tree Jokes
Tree Jokes

What's the difference between an oak tree and a tight shoe?

One makes acorns, the other makes corns ache!

As I child I was forced to walk the plank

We couldn't afford a dog!

I need hobbies and not just different types of wood

I need to branch out!

What type of wood do pigs like the most?


What do you call a piece of wood with absolutely nothing to do?


I need to learn more about wood

Can I axe you a question about it?

How do you make wood laugh?

By telling acorn-y jokes!

Did you hear about the wooden action heroes?

They’re called the Tree Musketeers!

What does wood dress up as for Halloween?


How do pieces of wood access the internet?

They log in!

Did you hear the joke about the lumberjack, The sheep and the goat?

I wood tell ewe, but it’s a baaaaaad joke!

How long have you been chopping wood for?

Not sure. Let me check the logs!

Why shouldn’t you trust trees?

They’re all kinda shady!

I finally realized why trees don’t have teeth

Turns out, they’re all bark and no bite!

Do trees poop?

Of course. Where do you think #2 pencils come from?

I scared a friend with a bit of ancient wood

They were petrified!

Wood fired pizza?

How’s pizza gonna get a job now?

What did the rabbit say to the piece of wood?

It was nice gnawing you!

Boss told me to glue 2 pieces of wood together

Totally nailed it!

When is a king like a piece of wood?

When it’s a ruler!

Whenever I get stressed out I cut shapes out of wood with my jigsaw...

It's a great coping mechanism!

What is life like for a wood worm?


How did the tree ask out his crush?

Wood you like to go out with me?

What's a beaver's favourite food?

Wood chips!