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Britains Got Talent Jokes

You'll be Simon Cowell-ing with laughter at these terrific TV jokes! But are they the best in Britain? You can be the judge of that!

Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  May 7th 2022

Are you looking for some ridiculous reality TV show jokes? You just found them! And we've got plenty more where these came from too - check out these TV jokes, these Great British Bake Off jokes, or even these Doctor Who jokes! It's a laugh a minute round here! Ooh also, don't forget to try our Great Joke Generator. It's really funny, honest!

What TV show did the unicyclist enter?

Britain’s Got Balance!

What’s a witch’s favourite TV show?

Wiccan’s Got Talent!

What did the cow sing on Britain’s Got Talent?

I like to moooove it mooove it!

Did you hear about the laptop that won Britain’s Got Talent?

It was A Dell!

Why did the Shetland pony get voted of Britain’s Got Talent?

It was a little hoarse!

Did you hear some underwear and a chicken are hosting Britain’s Got Talent this year?

They’re called Pant and Peck!

What did the planet Saturn sing on Britain’s Got Talent?

If you like it then you should've put a ring on it!

Why do so many cats enter Britain’s Got Talent?

Because they’re so mewsical!

I was so shocked at Britain’s Got Talent last night

There were only 4 advert breaks!

Why did the Britain’s Got Talent contestant sound like an apartment?

Her voice was a little flat!

What did King Arthur call his castle-building reality show?  

Britain’s Moat Talent!

Nike are sponsoring Britain’s Got Talent this year. Their slogan?

Just duet!

Why did the scarecrow get thrown off Britain’s Got Talent?

His performance was a bit wooden!

What did the mushroom sing on Britain’s Got Talent?

We are the Champignons!

Why did the fish win Britain’s Got Talent?

He knew his scales!

What did the pirate do on Britain’s Got Talent?

He played the guit-arrrrr!

Why doesn’t Simon Cowell order takeaways?

He always says the delivery is terrible!

Did you hear about the pair of scissors that wanted to be on Britain’s Got Talent?

It didn’t make the cut!

Toad jokes

What is a dragon's favourite TV show?

Britain's Got Talons!

What’s a goat’s favorite TV show?

Britain’s Goat Talent!