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15 Church Jokes So Good You'll Pray For More

Please be seated for some of the funniest church jokes you'll ever see! Go on, pull up a pew!

Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  November 25th 2023

Pull up a pew for these 15 very funny church jokes! In fact, they're so funny you'll make them a steeple of your joke collection! (Steeple, staple, geddit? No? Oh, well) And if you liked these, why not check out these very punny pirate jokes! Or how about these brilliant badger jokes? Maybe some silly snake jokes? Can't decide? Check out hundreds more jokes on our jokes hub!

What do you call a vicar on a moped?


How do vicars like their orange juice?

With pulpit!

Which Bible character drives to church?

Parking Lot!

Why do hawks go to church?

They're birds of prey!

Where is Solomon's temple?

On the side of his head!

Where should you go for religious ice cream?

Sundae school!

What do you call a very important church service?

A critical mass!

Why did the sponge go to church?

It was holy!

How do you know that atoms are Catholic?

They have mass!

What did the vegetarian vicar say?

'Lettuce pray'

What do you say in a smelly church?


Why did the duck go to church?

For its daily bread!

Why was the baby called Times New Roman?

It was baptised in the wrong font!

What's next to the Sistine chapel?

The fifteen chapel!

What did the vegetarian vicar pray for?

Peas to all men!