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11 England Jokes and Puns to Brighten the Rainiest Days!

These funny England jokes are sure to LAND with everyone you try them on! Check them out!

Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  May 27th 2023

These jokes are as English as chips, queuing and complaining about the weather! And if you liked these, we've got loads more geography jokes here! What about these funny puns based on the English language? Or maybe you'll enjoy these marvellous mountain jokes? Or why not check out these delightfully groan-worthy dad jokes? And of course there's loads more laughs as always on our jokes hub!

What do you call London when there's a power cut?


What's the worst job for a vegan in England?


Where in England do the men have the hairiest chests?


Why is England so wet?

Because the royals have reigned there for years!

What do people wear in England?


My dad works in Big Ben

He works around the clock!

I don't like St George's day...

It can really dragon!

Why do English people love queuing?

We don't, and I'll be first in line to tell you that!

What did England say to Scotland, Wales, and Northern Ireland when it saw they were upset?


What's an English person's favourite day?


Who is the wettest spy in England?

Thames Bond!