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22 Farm Jokes That Are Hay-larious!

These funny farm jokes will really aMOOse you! If you like all things farm, then check out these hay-larious farm jokes! They're not corny, we promise!

Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  December 22nd 2021

Come on down the farm and get ready for some very punny farm jokes! You'll have a field day with these outdoor chuckles! And if you liked these, why not have a look at our Cow Jokes? They will amuse you very mooooch! Or try these Horse Jokes if you think these were neigh enough! Or if you're more at home on the range, we've got Cowboy Jokes too! Yeehaw! And as always, there's loads more jokes on our main Jokes Page!

Did you hear about the magic tractor?

It went down the lane and then turned into a field!

How do horses say hello?


Have you heard any jokes about sheep dogs?

I've herd them all!

What did the farmer say when the pig took a bath?


Which farm animal always knows the time?

The watch dog!

Why do cows have hoofs?

They lactose!

Where do farmers get their medicine from?

The farm-acist!

What did the mummy cow say to the baby cow?

'It's pasture bedtime!'

What martial art do pigs practise?

Pork chops!

What's black and white and eats like a horse?

A zebra!

Did you hear the cow joke?

It's very amoosing!

How did the farmer find the lost cow?

He tractor down!

What do you call a cow that has an accident?

A mis-steak!

What do you call a horse than lives next door to a farm?

A neigh-bour!

What's a sheep's favourite sport?


What's a Scarecrow's favourite fruit?


What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef!

Which crop hears best?

Corn - it has ears!

Where do sick horses go?

The horsepital!

Why did the pig break up with her boyfriend?

He was a real boar!

What kind of headphones do farmers wear?

Beets by Dre!

What kind of horses have scary dreams?

Night mares!

If I were a farmer, how would I measure my height?

From my head tomatoes!

Grinning cauliflower

Why did the farmer bury his money in a field?

He wanted to make his soil rich!

A laughing farmer

Why do cows enjoy hearing jokes?

Because they love being amoosed!

Two laughing cows in a field

What do you say to a cow if it’s in your way?


A grinning cow blocking the way

Which day do potatoes hate?


A scared potato

Did you hear about the magic tractor?

It turned into a field!

A magical tractor

What do you call a horse that lives next door to a farm?

A neigh-bour!

A horse with long flowing hair

Why did the chick get sent off during a game of football?

It committed a fowl!

A chicken playing football

Where does a farmer get his medicine from?

The farm-acist!

A poorly farmer at the pharmacy

Who tells the best farmer jokes?


A chicken tells a joke

What is a pig farmer’s favourite type of karate move?

Pork chops!

A karate expert doing a chop

Why is it pointless telling a cow a joke?

They've herd them all!

A smiling cow

What kind of things does a farmer talk about when he's milking a cow?

Udder nonsense!

A confused cow

Did you hear about the farmer who got top marks in his maths exam?

He used a pro-tractor!

A farmer in front of a chalk board

Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?

Because they lactose!

Cow's hooves

What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bull-dozer!

A sleeping bull

Why did the farmer plough her field with a steamroller?

They wanted to grow mashed potatoes!

A farmer in a steamroller

What did the farmer say to the cow when it wouldn’t go to sleep?

It’s pasture bedtime!

A farmer and a sleepy cow

Why do farmers love going to the cinema so much?

So they can watch the trailers

A farmer at the cinema

Why didn’t the farmer laugh at any of these jokes?

They were too corny

A farmer in a corn field

Why did the pig dump her boyfriend?

He was a massive boar!

A pig in a pen

What did the neurotic pig say to the farmer?

You take me for grunted!

A pig with big eyes

What did the farmer call his cow?


A grinning farmer and a cow wearing green sunglasses