December 11th 2019

50+ Holiday Jokes

Feeling festive? Check out Beano's colossal compilation of hilarious holiday jokes!

byBeano Jokes Team

Finished celebrating with these? Try laughing it up at some Easter jokes, Christmas dinner jokes or maybe even some Christmas cracker jokes

Looking for something a bit more random? Check out the great joke generator

What is brown, hairy and wears sunglasses?

A coconut on its summer holiday!

Why are teachers so rude during summer vacation?

Because they have no class!

What do you call a Christmas rom-com about bread?

Loaf Actually!

Why can't you take your turkey to church on Christmas?

Because it has fowl language!

What do snowmen have for Christmas dinner?

Ice crispies!

What did the big cracker say to the small cracker during the Christmas Eve dinner?

My pop is bigger than yours!

Why should you take a ladder carolling?

So you can reach the high notes!

Who gets invited to the most holiday parties?

Christmas Carol!

What did the llama say when the other llama asked if they wanted to go on holiday?

Alpaca my bags!

What do you call a reindeer on Halloween?

A cariBOO!

How do sheep greet each other at Christmas?

Merry Christmas to ewe!

What do zombies have for school lunches?

Human beans, fried legs and eyes cream!

What does the queen dress her dogs up as for halloween?

Democorgis!

Why are zombies always hired as make-up artists?

Because they have to put their face on every morning!

Why could the cyclops not stop crying?

They had really good moistur-eyes-er!

Who did Frankenstein take to the Halloween party?

His Ghoulfriend!

What's the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner?

A turKEY!

What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?

Pumpkin pi!

What do you wear to Thanksgiving dinner?

A har-vest!

What do you call the age of a pilgrim?

pilgrimage!

What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children?

"If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!"

What do you call a turkey on the day after Thanksgiving?

Lucky!

Which November holiday is Dracula’s favourite?

Fangs-giving!

What sound does a limping turkey make?

Wobble, wobble!

What did the turkey say to the computer?

“Google, google, google!”

What do you call Diego when he takes a beach holiday?

San Diego!

What did the cheerleaders say on New Year’s Day?

Happy new cheer!

Why does the person who runs Time’s Square on New Year’s feel like a failure?

He always drops the ball!

What does a monster say on New Years?

Happy new fear!

What should you never eat on New Year’s Eve?

Fire Crackers!

What did the dog say on New Year’s?

Woof!

What happened to the fireworks who were arrested on New Years Eve?

They were let off!

What's a corns favourite holiday?

New Ears Day!

Why do robots take holidays?

To recharge their batteries!

Where do LEGO people go on holiday?

The Czech RepuBRICK!

What does The White Rabbit eat at Easter?

Choco-LATE!

Where does Postman Pat take his holidays in Spain?

Parcelona!

Why does Mr Bean bring Teddy on holiday?

He only packs the BEAR necessities!

Where does Superman go on holiday?

Cape town!

What's the best salad to serve on Guy Fawkes' Night?

Rocket!

What is Easter bunny’s favourite kind of music?

Hip-hop!

What happens if you tickle an Easter egg?

It cracks up!

Why is the Easter bunny so smart?

He's an egghead!

What do you get if you cross Santa Claus with a duck?

A Christmas quacker!

Which one of Santa’s reindeer has the best moves?

Dancer!

What do you call a cat who works for Santa?

Santa Claws!

What's the funniest day of the year?

Ha-halloween!

Where does Santa go when he's sick?

To the elf centre!

What’s invisible and smells of carrots?

Rabbit farts!

What reindeer has the worst manners?

Rude-olph!

Where do wasps go on holiday?

Stingapore!

Where do eggs go when they visit the USA?

New Yolk!

Why did the Easter egg hide?

It was a little chicken!

Music, Movie, TV and Gaming Jokes

More stuff