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52 Holiday Jokes To Tinsel Your Funny Bone

Feeling festive? Check out Beano's colossal compilation of hilarious holiday jokes!

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Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  January 24th 2024

Finished celebrating with these Christmas holiday jokes? Try laughing it up at some Easter jokes, New Year jokes or maybe even some Christmas cracker jokes

Looking for something a bit more random? Check out the great joke generator

What is brown, hairy and wears sunglasses?

A coconut on its summer holiday!

summer jokes

Why are teachers so rude during summer vacation?

Because they have no class!

summer jokes

What do you call a Christmas rom-com about bread?

Loaf Actually!

Bread jokes

Why can't you take your turkey to church on Christmas?

Because it has fowl language!

Christmas dinner jokes

What do snowmen have for Christmas breakfast?

Ice crispies!

Christmas dinner jokes

What did the big cracker say to the small cracker during the Christmas Eve dinner?

My pop is bigger than yours!

Christmas dinner jokes

Why should you take a ladder carolling?

So you can reach the high notes!

Christmas carol jokes

Who gets invited to the most holiday parties?

Christmas Carol!

Christmas Carol Jokes

What did the llama say when the other llama asked if they wanted to go on holiday?

Alpaca my bags!

llama jokes

What do you call a reindeer on Halloween?

A cariBOO!

reindeer jokes

How do sheep greet each other at Christmas?

Merry Christmas to ewe!

sheep jokes

What do zombies have for school lunches?

Human beans, fried legs and eyes cream!

halloween jokes

What does the queen dress her dogs up as for halloween?

Democorgis!

holiday jokes

Why are zombies always hired as make-up artists?

Because they have to put their face on every morning!

halloween jokes

Why could the cyclops not stop crying?

They had really good moistur-eyes-er!

halloween jokes

Who did Frankenstein take to the Halloween party?

His Ghoulfriend!

halloween jokes

What's the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner?

A turKEY!

holiday jokes

What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?

Pumpkin pi!

What do you wear to Thanksgiving dinner?

A har-vest!

What do you call the age of a pilgrim?

pilgrimage!

thanks giving jokes

What do you call a turkey on the day after Thanksgiving?

Lucky!

holiday jokes

What sound does a limping turkey make?

Wobble, wobble!

Christmas dinner jokes

What did the turkey say to the computer?

“Google, google, google!”

holiday jokes

What do you call Diego when he takes a beach holiday?

San Diego!

holiday jokes

What did the cheerleaders say on New Year’s Day?

Happy new cheer!

holiday jokes

Why does the person who runs Time’s Square on New Year’s feel like a failure?

He always drops the ball!

new year jokes

What does a monster say on New Years?

Happy new fear!

holiday jokes

What should you never eat on New Year’s Eve?

Fire Crackers!

new year jokes

What did the dog say on New Year’s?

Woof!

holiday jokes

What happened to the fireworks who were arrested on New Years Eve?

They were let off!

new year jokes

What's a corns favourite holiday?

New Ears Day!

new year jokes

Why do robots take holidays?

To recharge their batteries!

summer jokes

Where do LEGO people go on holiday?

The Czech RepuBRICK!

travel jokes

What does The White Rabbit eat at Easter?

Choco-LATE!

chocolate jokes

Where does Postman Pat take his holidays in Spain?

Parcelona!

holiday jokes

Why does Mr Bean bring Teddy on holiday?

He only packs the BEAR necessities!

mr bean jokes

Where does Superman go on holiday?

Cape town!

superhero jokes

What's the best salad to serve on Guy Fawkes' Night?

Rocket!

What is Easter bunny’s favourite kind of music?

Hip-hop!

Easter jokes

What happens if you tickle an Easter egg?

It cracks up!

easter jokes

Why is the Easter bunny so smart?

He's an egghead!

easter jokes

What do you get if you cross Santa Claus with a duck?

A Christmas quacker!

christmas jokes

Which one of Santa’s reindeer has the best moves?

Dancer!

christmas jokes

What do you call a cat who works for Santa?

Santa Claws!

What's the funniest day of the year?

Ha-halloween!

halloween jokes

Where does Santa go when he's sick?

To the elf centre!

christmas jokes

What’s invisible and smells of carrots?

Rabbit farts!

funny jokes

What reindeer has the worst manners?

Rude-olph!

animal jokes

Where do wasps go on holiday?

Stingapore!

holiday jokes

Where do eggs go when they visit the USA?

New Yolk!

food jokes

Which November holiday is Dracula’s favourite?

Fangs-giving!

halloween jokes
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