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52 Holiday Jokes To Tinsel Your Funny Bone

Feeling festive? Check out Beano's colossal compilation of hilarious holiday jokes!

Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  August 12th 2021

Finished celebrating with these? Try laughing it up at some Easter jokes, Christmas dinner jokes or maybe even some Christmas cracker jokes

Looking for something a bit more random? Check out the great joke generator

What is brown, hairy and wears sunglasses?

summer jokes

A coconut on its summer holiday!

Why are teachers so rude during summer vacation?

summer jokes

Because they have no class!

What do you call a Christmas rom-com about bread?

Bread jokes

Loaf Actually!

Why can't you take your turkey to church on Christmas?

Christmas dinner jokes

Because it has fowl language!

What do snowmen have for Christmas breakfast?

Christmas dinner jokes

Ice crispies!

What did the big cracker say to the small cracker during the Christmas Eve dinner?

Christmas dinner jokes

My pop is bigger than yours!

Why should you take a ladder carolling?

Christmas carol jokes

So you can reach the high notes!

Who gets invited to the most holiday parties?

Christmas Carol Jokes

Christmas Carol!

What did the llama say when the other llama asked if they wanted to go on holiday?

llama jokes

Alpaca my bags!

What do you call a reindeer on Halloween?

reindeer jokes

A cariBOO!

How do sheep greet each other at Christmas?

sheep jokes

Merry Christmas to ewe!

What do zombies have for school lunches?

halloween jokes

Human beans, fried legs and eyes cream!

What does the queen dress her dogs up as for halloween?

holiday jokes


Why are zombies always hired as make-up artists?

halloween jokes

Because they have to put their face on every morning!

Why could the cyclops not stop crying?

halloween jokes

They had really good moistur-eyes-er!

Who did Frankenstein take to the Halloween party?

halloween jokes

His Ghoulfriend!

What's the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner?

holiday jokes

A turKEY!

What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?

Pumpkin pi!

What do you wear to Thanksgiving dinner?

A har-vest!

What do you call the age of a pilgrim?

thanks giving jokes


What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children?

"If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!"

What do you call a turkey on the day after Thanksgiving?

holiday jokes


Which November holiday is Dracula’s favourite?

halloween jokes


What sound does a limping turkey make?

Christmas dinner jokes

Wobble, wobble!

What did the turkey say to the computer?

holiday jokes

“Google, google, google!”

What do you call Diego when he takes a beach holiday?

holiday jokes

San Diego!

What did the cheerleaders say on New Year’s Day?

holiday jokes

Happy new cheer!

Why does the person who runs Time’s Square on New Year’s feel like a failure?

new year jokes

He always drops the ball!

What does a monster say on New Years?

holiday jokes

Happy new fear!

What should you never eat on New Year’s Eve?

new year jokes

Fire Crackers!

What did the dog say on New Year’s?

holiday jokes


What happened to the fireworks who were arrested on New Years Eve?

new year jokes

They were let off!

What's a corns favourite holiday?

new year jokes

New Ears Day!

Why do robots take holidays?

summer jokes

To recharge their batteries!

Where do LEGO people go on holiday?

travel jokes

The Czech RepuBRICK!

What does The White Rabbit eat at Easter?

chocolate jokes


Where does Postman Pat take his holidays in Spain?

holiday jokes


Why does Mr Bean bring Teddy on holiday?

mr bean jokes

He only packs the BEAR necessities!

Where does Superman go on holiday?

superhero jokes

Cape town!

What's the best salad to serve on Guy Fawkes' Night?

holiday jokes


What is Easter bunny’s favourite kind of music?

Easter jokes


What happens if you tickle an Easter egg?

easter jokes

It cracks up!

Why is the Easter bunny so smart?

easter jokes

He's an egghead!

What do you get if you cross Santa Claus with a duck?

christmas jokes

A Christmas quacker!

Which one of Santa’s reindeer has the best moves?

christmas jokes


What do you call a cat who works for Santa?

Santa Claws!

What's the funniest day of the year?

halloween jokes


Where does Santa go when he's sick?

christmas jokes

To the elf centre!

What’s invisible and smells of carrots?

funny jokes

Rabbit farts!

What reindeer has the worst manners?

animal jokes


Where do wasps go on holiday?

holiday jokes


Where do eggs go when they visit the USA?

food jokes

New Yolk!

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