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20 Lawn Jokes? Mow On, Then!

Love lawns? How about laughing? Find out if you're turf enough for these 20 lol-worthy lawn jokes!

Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  June 21st 2024

Lawns are important places for insects to live, and the best gardens have plenty of different plants to provide food for bees, ladybirds and other important creatures. The good news? This means you can stop mowing the garden and you'll be doing nature a big favour! Much easier for everyone!

As well as being a prime spot for wildlife, lawns are pretty funny too! And we think this list of 20 lawn jokes kind of proves that point! Read on if you don't believe us!

For more stuff like this, check out these gardening gags, these unbe-leaf-able plant jokes, and even these slightly spikey cacti jokes!

I used to make loads of money clearing leaves from lawns

I was raking it in!

I called the cops about a murder on my front lawn

They said that couldn't do anything about crows and to stop calling!

Just saw a man with a lawn mower crying his eyes out

He’ll be fine, he’s just going through a rough patch!

I have a chicken proof lawn

It's impeckable!

My wife says adults shouldn't pretend the lawn is lava

But I'm on the fence!

Tesla have just announced their new lawn mower

Itr's called E Lawn!

My dad said he'd delete my computer games if I didn't finish mowing the lawn

I did the first half pretty quickly but now I'm losing Steam!

What did the melon say when his lawn looked dry

Guess it's time to watermalawn!

Today I had to fire the guy I hired to mow my lawn

He just wasn't cutting it!

I was mowing my lawn and I found a skeleton, and now I can’t stop laughing

I don’t know why I just found this humerus!

Someone's been secretly dumping top soil on my lawn...

The plot thickens!

What do you call a cheesy baby deer on your lawn in the morning?

Fawn dew!

The same German Shepard wanders over my front lawn every day

Turns out he's just looking for his dog!

How do you know how long to mow your lawn for?

Use an hour-grass!

What's the fancy word for lawn ornaments?


Why did the kid only water half the lawn?

Because there was a 50% chance of rain!

Why do Gnomes laugh when they play football?

The grass tickles their armpits!

Why is grass so dangerous?

Because it’s full of blades!

Got a cow helping me cut the grass

He’s a lawn mooer!

What's the worst thing about living next door to a good gardener?

The grass is always greener on the other side!