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41 Police Jokes So Funny You'll Call For Backup!

These police jokes are in danger of being arrested for being too funny! Have a look at these funny police jokes and find your favourite!

Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:Β  February 15th 2022

These jokes are so funny it's an emergency! Check out these funny police jokes and see which ones make you giggle! And if you liked these, why not check out these hound-larious dog jokes! Or how about these cheesy dad jokes? We've also got these fun football jokes for you to KICK back and relax with! And there's hundreds more hilarious jokes on our jokes hub!

Why did the cat get fined by the police?

It littered!

Why did the peanut call the police?

It was a-SALT-ed!

What did the policeman say to the snowman?


Who works with the grammar police?

Correction officers!

What did the policeman say to his tummy?

'You're under a vest!'

What sort of photo do you take at the police station?

A cell-fie!

What do you call a psychic on the run?

A medium at large!

What do you call a policeman in bed?

An undercover cop!

Why did the coffee call the police?

It got mugged!

What do you get if you cross a tennis player and a policeman?

Someone who serves and protects!

What did the policeman say to his dinner?

'Irish stew in the name of the law!'

Did you hear about the thief who stole a lamp?

He got a very light sentence!

Why did the robber wear blue gloves?

So he wouldn't get caught red handed!

What do you call a blonde policeman?

A fair cop!

Someone keeps stealing police car wheels

They're working tirelessly to catch him!

Why did the police arrest the turkey?

They suspected fowl play!

Who's the most famous detective in the garden?

Sherlock Gnomes!

Why did the police raid the pet shop?

They were looking for the cat burglar!

What's got a screen, keys and can arrest you?


Why did the police arrest the celery?

It was charged with stalking!

Why did the policewoman arrest her husband?

Because he stole her heart!

Why did the police arrest the fish and chips?

A-salt and battery!

What do you call it when a policeman is watching cows?

A steak-out!

What kind of insects join the forces?

The po-lice!

Why are policemen so musical?

They're always on the beat!

Why was the ghost arrested?

It didn't have a haunting licence!

What happened when the wig got stolen?

Police combed the area!

Why did the policeman have a barbecue?

He was grilling the suspects!

How do police travel?

In a heli-cop-ter!

What happens when you steal a vehicle?

You get in-car-cerated!

Someone stole some dogs from a dog walker...

The police have no leads!

Why did the police arrest the cheetah?

For speeding!

A toilet was stolen from the police station...

The police have nothing to go on!

Police just arrested one person for stealing batteries, and another for stealing fireworks

They charged one guy and let the other off!

Why did the police arrest a group of crows?

For murder!

Which police unit gets rid of flies?

The SWAT team!

Why were the police at the beach?

They suspected a crime wave!

Why was the artist upset?

She was being framed for murder!

How do you greet a cop?

Police-d to meet you!

Why did the police arrest the duvet?

They knew it was covering up something!

What does a frog use to keep away burglars

A lilypad-lock!

A man was arrested yesterday for impersonating a helium balloon.

The police held him for a while then let him go!