Skip to main content

26 Family Jokes Which Will Liven Up Any Dinner Time

These family jokes are dad funny!

Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:Β  November 9th 2021

Families are hilarious at the best of times, so we've rounded up the best gags ever put for your your delight!Β 

Once you've stitched your sides back together, why not check out these dad jokes, Mother's Day jokes and knock-knock jokes?

We have jokes for practically every occasion – visit the Joke Generator if you don't believe us!

Where did the onion find his family history?

In the archives!

What does a bowler and a family at Thanksgiving have in common?

A massive turkey

They both want a turkey!

What does a pumpkin call his family?

His pumpKIN!

How did the baby tell her mum she had a wet nappy?

A baby wearing glasses

She sent her a wee-mail!

Why was this dad useless at buying herbs at the supermarket?

A man in a leafy garden

He couldn't find the thyme!

What did the mother spider hide her child's iPad?

A smiling spider

They said they were spending too much time on the web!

Who is best at Halloween fancy dress?

Parents dressed up for Halloween

Mummies and Deadies!

What is a dad's favourite type of pizza?

A man who loves pizza

Papa John's!

Did you hear about the uncle who repaired lifts?

A man outside of a lift or elevator

He said his job had its ups and downs!

What did the drummer call his twin daughters?

A drummer with a big bushy beard

Anna one, Anna two!

How can you tell if you're at an emotional wedding?

Even the cake is in tiers!

Why did the sister eat her homework?Β 

A girl eating some paper

Her teacher said it was a piece of cake!

Which family member can help thaw ice on a car windscreen?

A cold aunty

Aunty Freeze!

Why did the police officer put their child on the naughty step?

A tired police officer

They were resisting a rest!

How would an astronaut throw a birthday party for his wife?

An astronaut in space with a floating gift

He would planet carefully!

Why should you never invite an aardvark to your family party?

An aardvark in a party hat

Because it will eat your aunts!

Why did the mum buy a house on eBay?

A woman and a house

Because she thought it was address!

Where does rope go when it misbehaves?

Naughty rope

The knotty step!

What do you call a funny family of chairs?

Two chairs

A sitcom!

What do you call an unfriendly family member?

A grumpy woman

Aunty Social!

Why do kangaroo mums hate rainy days?

A kangaroo and her joey

Because their kids have to play inside!

Why did the grandad not trust his stairs?

An old man next to a flight of stairs

He said they were up to something!

What’s a minimum?

A woman in a Mini car

A mother driving a small car!

What do you call it when a family passes down a turkey recipe?

Christmas dinner jokes

Copy and basting!

What song does Peppa Pig's family sing on New Year's Eve?

Auld Lang Swine!

Who does the Floss at Buckingham Palace?

The Royale Family!