Skip to main content
Subscribe to our Beano comic! Click Here
Beano Comic

30 Fun Grandma Jokes & Puns To Make The Family Laugh

These great gags are guaranteed to make your gran guffaw! So gather the family round for some laughs and share them with your friends!

Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  June 6th 2023

Nothing beats a good granny pun, and we've got 30! Check out these hilarious (and occasionally groan-inducing) grandma gags, and even share them with her if you're feeling brave! And if you're after more family fun, what about some classic dad jokes? Or how about these stupid jokes, perfect to get siblings giggling! You may even be after some jokes to cheer someone up? And if those aren't enough, fear not! We've got literally hundreds more on our jokes hub!

Shout out to my grandma!

It's the only way she can hear me!

What do your grandma and the internet have in common?

You always have to accept the cookies!

Why didn't grandma enjoy her new stairlift?

It was driving her up the wall!

What do you call it when you have your grandma on speed dial?


My gran just had cataract surgery

It was an eye opening experience!

What do you call a relative who loves spelling and punctuation?

Grandma-tically correct!

I keep telling gran to get a hearing aid

But she won't listen!

Why did grandma get wheels for her rocking chair?

She wanted to rock and roll!

What do grandma's teeth and the stars have in common?

They both come out at night!

How do you weigh your mum's mum

In gram-mas!

Which grandma is always trying to give you fruit?

Granny Smith!

My grandma doesn't need glasses...

She drinks straight out of the carton!

The police spotted my gran knitting while driving

'Pull over!' they yelled, 'No, it's a scarf!' she said!

My gran keeps missing her knitting club

She's a bit out of the loop!

What do you get if you cross a sheep and your gran?

A baaaa-nana!

My gran started walking 5 miles a day at the age of 55

She's 90 now, and we have no idea where she is!

Why do grandmas smile all the time?

They can't hear a word your saying!

How did grandma get grandpa to stop biting his nails?

She hid his teeth!

What noise does a police car make when grandma gets arrested?


Why should you always eat your grandmas food?

So her plans aren't foiled!

My grandma always said the way to a man's heart is through is stomach

Which is why she's not allowed to be a surgeon anymore!

Did you hear my grandmother got an award for best grandparent?

She won a Grammy!

What happened to Granny Smith?

She grew to a ripe old age!

My gran was a pastry chef

Old age creped up on her!

Why was grandma so angry?

She was doing cross stitch!

Why did Molly knit her grandson 3 socks?

She heard he'd grown a foot!

I said I'd pay my gran £5 to use her stairlift

I hoped she'd take me up on it!

Why are the grans of rappers so happy?

Their grandchildren can perform hip op!

What's the difference between Doctor Who and his gran?

A regeneration gap!

My gran does Kung Fu...

She's a grandma-rtial artist!