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20 Jose Mourinho Jokes Which Are Truly Special!

Here's 20 howlers about one of the world's greatest footie managers!

Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  May 27th 2024

Jose Mourinho is one of the world's greatest football managers and was nicknamed 'The Special One', even though he was dismissed by Chelsea twice! Here's some special jokes which celebrate the master tactician with the grumpy face!

Why is Jose Mourinho's car boot full of bags?

He keeps getting the sack!

A football TV show

Why did Jose Mourinho have to buy another kitchen cupboard?

The other was full of cups!

What does Jose Mourinho call the corner of his office where his computer is?

The technical area!

Computer joke thumbnail
Computer joke thumbnail

What does Jose Mourinho do when his team loses 5-0?

Wakes up with a shock!

A football in the back of a goal net

Why did Jose Mourinho feel artistic after a goalless game?

Because it ended in a draw!

What does Jose Mourinho say when he's dressed as Santa?


Santa Jokes
Santa Jokes

Why did Jose Mourinho sign a footballer from Greek mythology?

He needed a centaur forward!

Why was Jose Mourinho sad after winning the Champions League?

There was nothing left to win!

A sports trophy

Why did Jose Mourinho hold a boot to his ear?

He wanted to listen to sole music!

Red football boots

What does Jose Mourinho hope to drink during a tense, goalless match?

A penal-tea!

Why can't Jose Mourinho's car play football?

It only has one boot!

What do you call a football manager who hasn't won a single trophy?

Jose Less-inho!

Hands holding a trophy aloft

Why did Jose Mourinho not pick Cinderella for his team?

She kept running away from the ball!

What's Jose Mourinho's favourite cereal?

Special K!

Why did Jose Mourinho flood the pitch?

He wanted to bring his 'sub' on!

Jose Mourinho was asked what days he could run a football club in Sheffield...

He said, I can't manage Wednesday!

Why was Jose Mourinho upset on his birthday?

He got a red card!

Where does Jose Mourinho go when he has nothing to do?

The bored room! 

Why did Jose Mourinho sketch some mugs before the start of the game ?

It was a cup draw!

A football manager

Why does Jose Mourinho bring suitcases along to away games?

So that he can pack the defence !

An old suitcase covered in stickers