Skip to main content

20 Leeds United Jokes That'll Make You Laugh Your Boots Off!

Here's a collection of football funnies about the best team in Leeds – Leeds United!

Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  April 29th 2024

Leeds United are a team based in West Yorkshire and currently play in the Championship. They've had their ups and downs like most clubs, and any fan knows this all too well. Here's 20 howlers to take your mind off that recent result and keep you laughing until the next match!

How many Leeds fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two – one to change it and the other to say how much better it was in the 1970s!

Do you know the only time Leeds United make a save?

When they're saving a video game!

What’s the difference between The Invisible Man and Leeds United?

You've got more chance seeing The Invisible Man lift a trophy!

What's the worst thing about Elland Road?

The seats face the pitch!

A man sitting in a football stadium

Why aren't Leeds United allowed to own a dog?

Because they can't hold on to the lead!

Why don't Leeds United have a website?

They can't string three Ws together!

What do you call a Leeds United fan in Europe?

A tourist!

An owl swooping over a football ground at night

Why can't you get a hot drink at Elland Road?

All the cups are in Manchester!

What did Daniel Farke do when Elland Road became flooded?

He sent on his subs!

Why did the Leeds fan bring a pencil and paper to the match?

They were hoping for a draw!

What's noisy, has four legs and manages Leeds United?

Daniel Barke!

Elland Road's phone number ends with 1010..

That's won-nothing-won-nothing!

Why did goalie Illan Meslier go to the laundrette?

He had no clean sheets!

Why did Leeds travel to Manchester United?

Four nothing!

A football commentator

What's the stinkiest football ground?

Smelland Road!

Which football team do plugs support?


A football team was stolen in Yorkshire…

Police are desperately looking for Leeds!

A burglar giving the thumbs down

What do Leeds and lightning bolts have in common?

They're both shocking!

Why do Leeds players struggle to eat sandwiches?

They think they can't use their hands!

A sandwich on a wooden floor

The contents of Leeds' trophy room was stolen...

Police are looking for an empty cabinet!

Next Up: Man Utd Jokes