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20 Lord of the Rings Jokes To Rule Them All

These precious Lord of the Rings jokes and puns are the funniest in Middle Earth! Now THAT'S Ent-ertainment!

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Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  August 31st 2023

Whether you're a dwarf, elf, orc or giant spider-thing, you'll be sure to have a laugh at these fantastical Lord of the Rings gags! So read on to find out why Frodo sets his phone to vibrate, or what you should call a balrog wearing earmuffs! Watch out - it's hard to stop these Lord of the Rings jokes once you've started! They're really hobbit forming! Geddit!?

For more amazing movie jokes, take a peek at these Mickey-taking Disney Jokes, these mirth-filled Minions jokes, or even these preposterous Pokemon jokes! Go ooooon!

OK, let's get back to Middle Earth!

Hey, Gandalf! What's your favourite kind of insect?

FLY, YOU FOOLS!

I would tell some good Lord of the Rings jokes

But all the good ones ara-gone!

What do you call a balrog wearing earmuffs?

Anything you want - it can’t hear you!

A human, an elf and an orc walk into a bar...

The Hobbit laughs and walks under it!

How do you cross a troll bridge in Middle Earth?

You use JRR tokens!

What is an accountant’s favourite Lord of the Rings movie?

The Return of the King!

I’m going to a Lord of the Rings themed Xmas party

I’m going to eat and be merry!

What did Gandalf say when an onion tried to cross the bridge?

You shallot pass!

Why did the Lord of the Rings author get kicked out of the movie theatre

He was Tolkien all the way through!

What does Gandalf say when he wants to go shopping?

One ring to rule the mall!

What time did Tolkien finish Lord of the Rings?

At elven o'clock!

My teacher must really like Lord of the Rings

Whenever I ask about my grades she just says "You shall not pass"!

Which Lord of the Rings character has no toys to play with?

Legoless!

Why was Gandalf hunched over and stressed out?

He was short-staffed!

I bought myself a 6 ft boomerang with Lord of the Rings characters on it

It’s really hard to Frodo!

Why can’t you stop making Frodo gnome garden statues?

Because it’s so hobbit forming!

A sprout holding a sword

I dreamt I wrote the Hobbit last night

I was Tolkien in my sleep!

Do you think Daniel Radcliffe could ever play a hobbit?

No, but Elijah Would!

What do you call a Hobbit with a healthy appetite?

Lord of the Onion Rings!

Why did the Hobbit set his iphone to vibrate?

He was afraid the ring would give him away!