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Hilarious Jokes

Don’t miss out of Beano’s banterful batch of hilarious jokes! We’ll have you laughing in no time!

Hilarious jokes are our thing! Here’s a cracking selection of jokes from Beano’s comedy kings and queens. 

Not had your fill of laughs? Check out our fantastically funny jokes, jokes for kids or get giggling at disastrous Dad jokes!

For more comedy inspiration, head over to Beano’s great joke generator

What’s the stupidest animal in the jungle?

A polar bear!

Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze!

What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches?

hilarious jokes

A nervous wreck!

What did one elevator say to the other elevator?

hilarious jokes

I think I’m coming down with something!

What does a nosey pepper do?

hilarious jokes

Gets jalapeno business!

What do you call a cow with a twitch?

hilarious jokes

Beef jerky!

How do you make a tissue dance?

hilarious jokes

Put a little boogey in it!

What do you call a computer that sings?

hilarious jokes


What did the tie say to the hat?

hilarious jokes

You go on a head and I’ll hang around!

Why should you take a pencil to bed?

hilarious jokes

To draw the curtains!

Why did the robber take a bath?

hilarious jokes

They wanted to make a clean getaway!

Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward.

Hilarious jokes

That’s just how I roll!

Have you heard about corduroy pillows?

hilarious jokes

They’re making headlines!

I bought the world’s worst thesaurus yesterday.

Hilarious jokes

Not only is it terrible, it’s terrible!

I waited and stayed up all night and tried to figure out where the sun was.

hilarious jokes

Then it dawned on me!

As a scarecrow, people say I’m outstanding in my field.

hilarious jokes

But hey, it’s in my jeans!

What’s a foot long and slippery?


A slipper!

Why do you never see elephants hiding up trees?

hilarious jokes

Because they’re really good at it!

What did the 0 say to the 8?

hilarious jokes

Nice belt!

Some people have difficulty sleeping…

Man with his eyes shut

But I can do it with my eyes shut!

What do you call an arrogant criminal going down the stairs?

hilarious jokes

A condescending con descending!

If you boil a funny bone…

hilarious jokes

You get a laughing stock!

How do balloons trip up?

They fall float on their face!

What’s a blob’s favourite drink?

Green slime grinning and licking its lips


What is the wettest animal?

A reindeer looking out into the distance with a rainbow behind it

A rain-deer!

Which football team loves ice cream?

A retro black and white football on the centre circle of a grass pitch

Aston Vanilla!

Who’s in charge of the pencil case?

A pack of multicolored pencils lying on a wooden table

The ruler!

What do you call a fake lasagne?

Three red lol speech bubbles

An impasta!

Next up: food jokes, pancake jokes