Hilarious Jokes

Don't miss out of Beano's banterful batch of hilarious jokes! We'll have you laughing in no time!

Hilarious jokes are our thing! Here's a cracking selection of jokes from Beano's comedy kings and queens. 

Not had your fill of laughs? Check out our fantastically funny jokes, jokes for kids or get giggling at disastrous Dad jokes!

For more comedy inspiration, head over to Beano's great joke generator

What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches?

A nervous wreck!

What did one elevator say to the other elevator?

I think I'm coming down with something!

What does a nosey pepper do?

Gets jalapeno business!

What do you call a cow with a twitch?

Beef jerky!

How do you make a tissue dance?

Put a little boogey in it!

What do you call a computer that sings?

A-Dell!

What did the tie say to the hat?

You go on a head and I'll hang around!

Why should you take a pencil to bed?

To draw the curtains!

Why did the robber take a bath?

They wanted to make a clean getaway!

Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward.

That’s just how I roll!

Have you heard about corduroy pillows?

They’re making headlines!

I bought the world’s worst thesaurus yesterday.

Not only is it terrible, it’s terrible!

I waited and stayed up all night and tried to figure out where the sun was.

Then it dawned on me!

As a scarecrow, people say I’m outstanding in my field.

But hey, it's in my jeans!

What's a foot long and slippery?

A slipper!

Why do you never see elephants hiding up trees?

Because they're really good at it!

What did the 0 say to the 8?

Nice belt!

Some people have difficulty sleeping...

But I can do it with my eyes shut!

What do you call an arrogant criminal going down the stairs?

A condescending con descending!

If you boil a funny bone...

You get a laughing stock!

How do balloons trip up?

They fall float on their face!

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