Kids' Jokes

We've got all the funniest kids' jokes here...

We searched far and wide for these funnies, and kids from every corner of the country cracked us up with their comedy talent. Here's a selection of the funniest kids' jokes of 2019, starting with the winners of our big competition. 

We've also got funny jokes on every subject, from Aladdin to space, and poop to eggs. Plus the Joke Generator is overflowing with all these jokes and more!

At the bank a lady asked me to check her balance…

So I pushed her over!

YouTube, Twitter and Facebook are making a joint website. What would it be called?


A Mexican man says to his friends: "I can disappear in three seconds":

Uno...dos... and then he disappears without a tres!

Have you seen the new movie, Constipated?

No? That’s because it hasn’t come out yet!

What’s the difference between Harry Hill and Dennis the Menace?

Nothing; they both have great Gnashers!

I went to the doctor this morning and said “I've swallowed a golf ball..."

The doctor said “Yes, I can see it's gone down a fairway!"

What is green and not heavy?

Light green!

What do you call a magic Labrador?

A Labracadabdoor!

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because he farted so he had to run away from the smell!

Why was the aeroplane ill?

It had the flew!

What’s the name of the teacher who is always late?

Mister Bus!

What do you call a pig that knows karate?

Pork chop!

What did the tree say to the tree surgeon?

You’re committing high treeson!

What's a cat's favourite nursery rhyme?

Three Blind Mice!

What is the smelliest game?

Top Trumps!

A chef asked me to check the balance of the chilli and onion in a soup...

…so I pushed it over!

Why was Eeyore down the toilet?

Because he was looking for Pooh!

What is the most dangerous part of the body?

The shoulder blades!

Why does a mouse do the washing up?

To make it squeaky clean!

What did mummy pasta say to baby pasta?

It’s pasta your bedtime!

Silly jokes: link from kids' jokes to silly jokes.

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